Somewhere in the bowels of Santa Monica… Namaste, friends, and welcome to Cafe Candida! I’m so glad that you qualified to visit our secret brick-and-mortar location by purchasing this month’s special, our .001 oz bottle of Florgasm organic oil, for only $38,000. Most people think we’re just a ghost kitchen. At least that’s what we tell those pesky activists who want us to work from Compton (can you imagine?). But you lucky lady visitors from the Midwest know the real truth. Here, have a hibiscus-infused Rocky Mountain oyster dipped in celery oil. Delicious, right?! You can just feel your ovaries thanking you…
Author: Stephanie Vuckovic
Stephanie Vuckovic
Stephanie Vuckovic lives outside Washington, D.C. and is trying out her humor chops now that her two teenaged boys have grown up. They still don't think she's that funny. Her work has appeared in Slackjaw, the Foreigner Blog and her website, giantsheetcake.com.