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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      My MRI at Seattle Grace Hospital Went Well, Aside From the Bomb Threat, Active Shooter, and Staff Having Sex in My Room

      May 20, 2025

      22-Year-Old Describes Kind of Weird Thing They Saw as ‘Lynchian’

      April 10, 2025

      James Bond Gets Briefed on SignalGate

      April 2, 2025

      “Too Dark and Incredibly Quiet” Becomes Highest Grossing Unintelligible Film Ever

      March 14, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 7, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      My MRI at Seattle Grace Hospital Went Well, Aside From the Bomb Threat, Active Shooter, and Staff Having Sex in My Room

      May 20, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Books

      May 10, 2025

      A Cartoon About Drinking A Lite Beer

      April 27, 2025

      A Cartoon About Pizza

      April 24, 2025

      A Cartoon About A Greek Wrap

      March 23, 2025

      “TRUMPLESTILSKIN” AND OTHER UPDATED BROTHERS GRIMM STORIES:

      April 7, 2025

      Look Here Pardner, According To The Most Recent Class 9 Census Report, This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

      February 15, 2025

      What Happened to the Great American Mall

      January 27, 2025

      Ernest Hemingway Goes Sober Curious 

      August 8, 2024
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      FECES BIOLOGIST FINDS OUT YOU CAN PICK LITERALLY ANY JOB ON EARTH

      April 16, 2025

      PLACEBO EFFECT? We Gave a 10-Year-Old Non-Alcoholic Beer and He Wrecked His Car

      January 23, 2025

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      How to Show You’re Smart Without Saying a Word: What We Can Learn From Mimes 

      February 24, 2025

      I’m Going to Stop Worrying About This Crayola Crayon Named ‘Your Soul Belongs to Us’

      June 17, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      DO PILGRIMS KNOW 1 +1?

      June 7, 2025
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025

      Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

      May 18, 2024

      REPORT: Secretariat Proud Of Derby Winning Descendant And Disappointed In 13 Losing Descendants

      May 6, 2025

      All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

      April 4, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Pope Leo XIV Reveals He “Is Not a Practicing Catholic”

      May 30, 2025

      Man Who Needs Vital Surgery Unfortunately on Same GoFundMe Page as Dying Dog

      May 23, 2025

      Trump Boys Pull Prank By Running Around White House With 1 and 3 Written On Their Chests

      May 22, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      REPORT: Mel Brooks Still Alive (Read This Article Before We Have To Delete It)

      May 11, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025

      In Memoriam: Our Head Of Data Operations, Ryan

      April 22, 2025

      Pope Leo XIV Reveals He “Is Not a Practicing Catholic”

      May 30, 2025

      Man Who Needs Vital Surgery Unfortunately on Same GoFundMe Page as Dying Dog

      May 23, 2025

      Trump Boys Pull Prank By Running Around White House With 1 and 3 Written On Their Chests

      May 22, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      I’m Going to Stop Worrying About This Crayola Crayon Named ‘Your Soul Belongs to Us’

      June 17, 2025

      An Open Letter To RFK Jr., Please Come And Pick Up Your Brain Worm From My House, He’s Scaring Me

      June 9, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      I’m Going to Stop Worrying About This Crayola Crayon Named ‘Your Soul Belongs to Us’

      June 17, 2025

      An Open Letter To RFK Jr., Please Come And Pick Up Your Brain Worm From My House, He’s Scaring Me

      June 9, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025

      I’m Going to Stop Worrying About This Crayola Crayon Named ‘Your Soul Belongs to Us’

      June 17, 2025

      An Open Letter To RFK Jr., Please Come And Pick Up Your Brain Worm From My House, He’s Scaring Me

      June 9, 2025

      In Like Lint

      June 8, 2025

      FulFILLment: My Pursuit of Protein

      June 7, 2025
    Robot Butt
    Life

    My Cat’s Declaration of Independence From Me

    By Chris BrotzmanJuly 5, 2024

    When in the course of Feline events, it becomes necessary for one side to extend its claws and bitchswipe a…

    History

    Ho Ho What Happened to that Declaration America? (By King George III)

    By Noah SeligmanJuly 4, 2024

    July 4th was such a grand idea in the beginning. The birth of a new nation. You even penned a…

    Entertainment

    An Open Letter to the Bullied Nerd in Old High School Movies

    By Dan GutenbergJuly 3, 2024

    Dear Four-Eyes, At the risk of stating the obvious, I feel I must offer you some common-sense advice. Let’s start…

    Entertainment

    No Post Today: Instead, Here are Those Saw Parody Sketches You Forgot About That Were the Funniest Thing on the Internet like 10 Years Ago

    By The Robot Butt StaffJuly 2, 2024

    Remember these? They hold up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTXfAtckS3g

    Capitalism

    No Post Today: Instead, Here is the Actual Press Release for Burger King’s 2018 “Nightmare Burger.”

    By The Robot Butt StaffJuly 1, 2024

    In 2018, Burger King had a limited time Burger that was dyed black and scientifically designed to cause literal nightmares.…

    Life

    Uh, Why Did I Get A “Finish All Side Quests Before Proceeding” Message Before Leaving My Apartment

    By Walt BraleyJune 29, 2024

    Hey, uh, so should I be, like, worried? This morning, when I went to open the door, I was suddenly…

    Life

    I Never Go Anywhere Without My Trusty Flask of Banana Pudding

    By Chris BrotzmanJune 28, 2024

    In this life, it’s only fair that we all turn to something for a little bit of comfort. A baby…

    Books & Zines

    The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

    By Walt BraleyJune 10, 2024

    Pop open this humor zine at your office to easily convince everyone around you that you are the company’s top…

    Breaking News

    Local Man Riding Undersized Bicycle at Transit Station Realizes He’s Not a Bus

    By Bry BerryJune 4, 2024

    CHICAGO—Archer Heights resident Kyle Tulane has cited “feeling unfulfilled living as a bus” in his decision last month to cease…

    Entertainment

    My Girl Is In Your DMs While I’m Knee-Deep In The Bedrock Wiki

    By Reise Kitts and Walt BraleyJune 3, 2024

    Did you know, Fred and Wilma were the first American animated married couple, to be shown in bed together. I…

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