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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      22-Year-Old Describes Kind of Weird Thing They Saw as ‘Lynchian’

      April 10, 2025

      James Bond Gets Briefed on SignalGate

      April 2, 2025

      “Too Dark and Incredibly Quiet” Becomes Highest Grossing Unintelligible Film Ever

      March 14, 2025

      Rewrite Notes from the New White House Office of Cultural Redemption

      March 7, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      Country Songwriters Decide to Continue Rhyming ‘Whiskey’ with ‘Frisky’ Until at Least 2047

      April 1, 2025

      10 ‘Mature’ Rock Songs That Needed Updated Titles

      March 8, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      McGruff the Crime Dog Gets a MAGA Reboot

      April 13, 2025
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Drinking A Lite Beer

      April 27, 2025

      A Cartoon About Pizza

      April 24, 2025

      A Cartoon About A Greek Wrap

      March 23, 2025

      We’re Giving Our Iconic Paperclip Character his Own Comic Series Because Eventually Something We Do Has to Work, Right?

      February 8, 2025

      “TRUMPLESTILSKIN” AND OTHER UPDATED BROTHERS GRIMM STORIES:

      April 7, 2025

      Look Here Pardner, According To The Most Recent Class 9 Census Report, This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

      February 15, 2025

      What Happened to the Great American Mall

      January 27, 2025

      Ernest Hemingway Goes Sober Curious 

      August 8, 2024
    • History

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025

      Just Making Sure You Know That Michael Bay Directed the First “Got Milk” Ad

      January 5, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      FECES BIOLOGIST FINDS OUT YOU CAN PICK LITERALLY ANY JOB ON EARTH

      April 16, 2025

      PLACEBO EFFECT? We Gave a 10-Year-Old Non-Alcoholic Beer and He Wrecked His Car

      January 23, 2025

      To Chimp or Not to Chimp? A New Proposal to Save the Shakespeare Typewriter Experiment

      November 11, 2024

      New Study Shows Thirty Percent of Bat Boys in Major League Baseball Evolve Into Vampires

      September 29, 2024

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      How to Show You’re Smart Without Saying a Word: What We Can Learn From Mimes 

      February 24, 2025

      All the “Life Hacks” in the World Won’t Make that Term Any Less Annoying

      February 11, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      Current Betting Odds On What Name Will Be Chosen By The Next Pope

      May 1, 2025

      Easter, 4/20, and Wrestlemania Are All Today. Here Are Some Tips For Balancing The Three Holidays

      April 20, 2025
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025

      Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

      May 18, 2024

      All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

      April 4, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      Elon Musk Trolled During Live-Stream By Viewers Spamming “What Are You Eating Under There?”

      April 17, 2025

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025

      In Memoriam: Our Head Of Data Operations, Ryan

      April 22, 2025

      Congrats To Robot Butt’s April Team Member Of The Month, Ryan!

      April 21, 2025

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025
    Robot Butt
    Entertainment

    I’m the Self-Deprecating Comedian You All Know and Would Love If I Weren’t Totally Unlovable

    By Steph WestendorfJuly 28, 2018

    How’s everybody doin’? I’m fine. Not like, “Ooh, she’s fine.” I’m actually pretty below average in the looks department. I’m…

    Entertainment

    Responses to a Bro’s Facebook Status Asking for Book Recommendations

    By Blair DawsonJuly 26, 2018

    Stephen White, a 23-year-old bro, posted a Facebook status asking his peers for book recommendations. Upon realizing Infinite Jest by…

    Entertainment

    MMORPG Dating Tips for Ogres: Things You Should Never Say to an Ogress

    By Robert McGeeJuly 25, 2018

    1. Are you really going to eat all of that elf? 2. You have a really pretty mace. 3. You should smite…

    Comics

    Beethoven’s First

    By Brandon HicksJuly 24, 2018

       

    Columns

    Wine Pairings With Trump Tweets: A High ABV Zinfandel for July

    By Olivia SieckJuly 24, 2018

    Hello, or, what we will be saying in six months, Здравствуйте. Since we will look like a Tolstoy novel by…

    Breaking News

    IMF Human Resources Department Dreading Paperwork for Ethan Hunt’s 14th Disavowal

    By Robot Butt News Corp.July 23, 2018

    WASHINGTON – After engaging in wanton destruction and causing hundreds of millions of dollars in damages in the Belarusian city of…

    Columns

    The Gorton’s Fisherman Gives His Advice on Swimsuit Shopping

    By Lauren MorrisJuly 23, 2018

    Argh, it is I, the Gorton’s fisherman, the guy on the fish sticks box in the freezer at your local…

    History

    Ernest Hemingway Discovers Frosé

    By Chris BrotzmanJuly 21, 2018

    Rinaldi and I were discussing bravery and war and bullfights and fly-fishing and the smell of death in the trenches…

    Life

    What Your Wedding Gift Says About You

    By Ally HirschlagJuly 20, 2018

    300-count Egyptian cotton sheet set: You’ve been an assistant editor for five years and it’s fine. You’re living your best…

    Politics

    Sustainability FTW: Myanmar Is Composting Its Rohingya Population to Prove That Sustainable Ethnic Cleansing Is Possible!

    By Zachary TruranJuly 19, 2018

    Environmentalists everywhere will be stunned when they hear about this major eco-friendly win out of Myanmar. Instead of burning off…

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