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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      Movie Theater Popcorn Almost Makes It To Regal Coca Cola Ad

      January 20, 2026

      Gilligan’s Island Press Conference: The Skipper Tilts at Windmills

      January 17, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      RE: My Upcoming Concert at Your Starbucks. 

      September 6, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      Just A Quick Anecdote About Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 And Frank Millar’s Graphic Novel 300

      January 29, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Alarm Clocks

      February 4, 2026

      Happy Holidays! Here’s A Cartoon About Christmas Trees

      December 25, 2025

      The Riddles Of Dragon Hollow: An Ultra-Short Pulp Fantasy Parody

      September 20, 2025

      Tis Time For More Advice From The Advice Imp!

      September 10, 2025

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026

      THE THREE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

      January 23, 2026

      Beckett versus Beckett

      October 4, 2025

      I Am a Business Person, and so are you

      September 27, 2025
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Scientists Discover Trending Chimpanzee Fashion Statement: Sticking Grass In Their Ears And Backsides

      February 27, 2026

      Report: 80% Of People Looking At Their Phones On The Train Are Watching Porn 

      January 25, 2026

      Eat More Maggots And Unleash Your Inner Neanderthal

      January 22, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Dear Neighbor, I Assume The Hammering Coming From Next Door Is You Building Your Own Coffin Because I Plan To Kill You In The Night

      March 3, 2026

      An American’s Pocket Guide To British English

      March 1, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

      February 8, 2026

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      HEARTBREAKING: Middle Schooler With Mad Libs Book Out Of Bad Words

      January 26, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026

      Robot Butt Live’s Halloween Special Is Tonight! We Have Murder, Intrigue, And Improv!

      October 30, 2025

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Canada, Mexico, and European Union Eagerly Build Trump’s Wall

      March 8, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Canada, Mexico, and European Union Eagerly Build Trump’s Wall

      March 8, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Canada, Mexico, and European Union Eagerly Build Trump’s Wall

      March 8, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Life

    I’m the Guy Your Mom Warned You About… If Your Mom Warned You About Guys Who LOVE Solving Riddles!

    By Dan CapreraFebruary 7, 2019

    Look out, ladies. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and this year I’m single and ready to mingle. Yup.…

    Articles

    How You Found Robot Butt: January 2019 Edition

    By SteveFebruary 6, 2019

    We’ve entered a brand-new year, but our audience’s thirst for knowledge is as insatiable as ever! Here is just a…

    Life

    A Resignation Letter From Me, the Guy Who Manages the Under Armour ‘Unsubscribe’ Email Inbox

    By Laura McClainFebruary 6, 2019

    To Whom It May Concern, I am writing to announce my resignation from Under Armour, effective immediately. I wish I…

    Entertainment

    12 Uses for Your Merkins Once You Retire From Porn

    By Kristine LacoFebruary 5, 2019

    1. Gently scouring your non-sticks 2. Ironic cat toy 3. Earmuffs 4. Forget the goats… merkin yoga 5. Dollhouse area…

    Life

    10 Skincare Secrets My Dermatologist Didn’t Want Me to Know About

    By Diana LuFebruary 5, 2019

    1. She uses body wash with plastic microbeads even though she knows how damaging they are to marine life. They’re…

    Life

    Dominate the Rat Race by Embracing Your Inner Rat

    By Holly AmosFebruary 5, 2019

    Each workweek is the same: frustrating commutes, rigid schedules, maneuvering corporate ladders and glass ceilings. Not to mention the awkwardness…

    Staff Posts

    National Lampoon Presents Death Panels

    By The Robot Butt StaffFebruary 4, 2019

    Death Panels (1989) Beauregard Fenimore Rothschild IV was supposed to undergo a routine knee surgery in one of the finest…

    Life

    Scammers Are Tricking People Into Trusting Them, Falling in Love With Them, and Living With Them for the Rest of Their Lives

    By Seth MillerFebruary 4, 2019

    You’ve heard the story: a naive grandma sends cash to a “Nigerian prince” or “police officer” to get a huge…

    Comics

    Maria Poppins Returns

    By Paul Lander and Dan McConnellFebruary 3, 2019

     

    Sports

    Only Tom Brady Can Stop Climate Change

    By Eric Wilson-EdgeFebruary 2, 2019

    Tom Brady is our only hope. I know this is true in the same way I know millions of people…

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