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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      Movie Theater Popcorn Almost Makes It To Regal Coca Cola Ad

      January 20, 2026

      Gilligan’s Island Press Conference: The Skipper Tilts at Windmills

      January 17, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      RE: My Upcoming Concert at Your Starbucks. 

      September 6, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      Just A Quick Anecdote About Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 And Frank Millar’s Graphic Novel 300

      January 29, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Alarm Clocks

      February 4, 2026

      Happy Holidays! Here’s A Cartoon About Christmas Trees

      December 25, 2025

      The Riddles Of Dragon Hollow: An Ultra-Short Pulp Fantasy Parody

      September 20, 2025

      Tis Time For More Advice From The Advice Imp!

      September 10, 2025

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026

      THE THREE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

      January 23, 2026

      Beckett versus Beckett

      October 4, 2025

      I Am a Business Person, and so are you

      September 27, 2025
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Scientists Discover Trending Chimpanzee Fashion Statement: Sticking Grass In Their Ears And Backsides

      February 27, 2026

      Report: 80% Of People Looking At Their Phones On The Train Are Watching Porn 

      January 25, 2026

      Eat More Maggots And Unleash Your Inner Neanderthal

      January 22, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Dear Neighbor, I Assume The Hammering Coming From Next Door Is You Building Your Own Coffin Because I Plan To Kill You In The Night

      March 3, 2026

      An American’s Pocket Guide To British English

      March 1, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

      February 8, 2026

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      HEARTBREAKING: Middle Schooler With Mad Libs Book Out Of Bad Words

      January 26, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026

      Robot Butt Live’s Halloween Special Is Tonight! We Have Murder, Intrigue, And Improv!

      October 30, 2025

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Canada, Mexico, and European Union Eagerly Build Trump’s Wall

      March 8, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Canada, Mexico, and European Union Eagerly Build Trump’s Wall

      March 8, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Canada, Mexico, and European Union Eagerly Build Trump’s Wall

      March 8, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Life

    5 Spring Cleaning Tips for the Home You’ll Never Own

    By Kevin NyeApril 11, 2019

    When we think of spring, we think of flowers, longer days, the sun peeking through the clouds, and of course,…

    Sports

    Basebrawls: Yasiel Puig vs. the Entire Pittsburgh Pirates Organization

    By SteveApril 9, 2019

    We have our first basebrawl of the 2019 season, folks! Well, like many baseball fights these days, it was mostly…

    Science

    The Emotional Support Animals You Deserve Because We All Know This Shitshow Is Only Going to Get Worse

    By Shannon Carpenter and James BurfordApril 9, 2019

    Arkansas Service Armadillo You are going to need the bestest of friends when your TV show gets canceled and Netflix…

    Entertainment

    The Atlantic’s James Parker Reviews ‘Paw Patrol’

    By W.F. CarolynApril 8, 2019

    After convincing a waif of a mademoiselle at the local inflatable bounce house establishment – Ramparts!  Rocket ships! Low-rent light…

    Life

    I Don’t Believe in the Death Penalty Except for the Person Currently Chatting It Up at the Trader Joe’s Sample Stand

    By Nick LogsdonApril 7, 2019

    The headline is pretty plain and simple: I do not believe even the worst of the worst murderers, rapists, or…

    Sports

    These Are the Weirdest Promotions in Major League Baseball History

    By The Robot Butt StaffApril 5, 2019

    More than any other sport, giveaways and promotions are an essential, ingrained aspect of baseball. And throughout the years, there…

    Articles

    How You Found Robot Butt: March 2019 Edition

    By SteveApril 4, 2019

    Someday, hundreds, maybe even thousands, of years from now, scientists will look back on these posts to gain a glimpse…

    Life

    Fuck, It’s Sunday Night Again

    By Melody HughesApril 3, 2019

    Technically, it’s still the weekend, but as you squirm in the sheets, making your 89th attempt to find a sleeping…

    Entertainment

    The 25 Phrases Disney Theme Park Characters Aren’t Allowed to Say

    By The Robot Butt StaffApril 2, 2019

    Everyone knows that if you work as a Disney theme park character, you have to stay in character. That means never…

    Entertainment

    The Wells Fargo Wagon Did NOT Con Children Out of Music Lessons

    By Sam SuksiriApril 1, 2019

    The year is 1912. Burns D. Caldwell, president of Wells Fargo, responds to the River City, Iowa city council’s investigation…

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