The headline is pretty plain and simple: I do not believe even the worst of the worst murderers, rapists, or thieves deserve to suffer the penalty of death. In fact, I actively voted against capital punishment in the two states I’ve called home. However, I do believe there should be a simple clause in the Constitution that allows states to punish those who dilly-dally at the Trader Joe’s sample stand while I wait patiently behind them with any of the following capital methods: hanging (preferably in public), electric chair, lethal injection, firing squad, being cast away into the desert in…
Author: Nick Logsdon
Nick Logsdon
Nick Logsdon is a comedy writer living in an apartment near a freeway in Los Angeles, but you can find him more easily on Twitter @nickloggy.
I have been a satisfied customer of HelloFresh since its inception, and I’ve always made it a point to try my hand at any new recipe they release. So, yes, I was undoubtedly excited to get to cooking their latest: veal piccata, with braised scalloped potatoes and a gun. When I opened up my meal kit, it was clear HelloFresh kept to their promise of delivering fresh, responsible ingredients. The potatoes were harvested less than a week prior, and the colt-action .45 caliber revolver was sourced from a local independent arms dealer who operates his business out of a 1996…