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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
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      22-Year-Old Describes Kind of Weird Thing They Saw as ‘Lynchian’

      April 10, 2025

      James Bond Gets Briefed on SignalGate

      April 2, 2025

      “Too Dark and Incredibly Quiet” Becomes Highest Grossing Unintelligible Film Ever

      March 14, 2025

      Rewrite Notes from the New White House Office of Cultural Redemption

      March 7, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 7, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s Idris Elba’s Music

      May 9, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 7, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Books

      May 10, 2025

      A Cartoon About Drinking A Lite Beer

      April 27, 2025

      A Cartoon About Pizza

      April 24, 2025

      A Cartoon About A Greek Wrap

      March 23, 2025

      “TRUMPLESTILSKIN” AND OTHER UPDATED BROTHERS GRIMM STORIES:

      April 7, 2025

      Look Here Pardner, According To The Most Recent Class 9 Census Report, This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

      February 15, 2025

      What Happened to the Great American Mall

      January 27, 2025

      Ernest Hemingway Goes Sober Curious 

      August 8, 2024
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      FECES BIOLOGIST FINDS OUT YOU CAN PICK LITERALLY ANY JOB ON EARTH

      April 16, 2025

      PLACEBO EFFECT? We Gave a 10-Year-Old Non-Alcoholic Beer and He Wrecked His Car

      January 23, 2025

      To Chimp or Not to Chimp? A New Proposal to Save the Shakespeare Typewriter Experiment

      November 11, 2024

      New Study Shows Thirty Percent of Bat Boys in Major League Baseball Evolve Into Vampires

      September 29, 2024

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      How to Show You’re Smart Without Saying a Word: What We Can Learn From Mimes 

      February 24, 2025

      All the “Life Hacks” in the World Won’t Make that Term Any Less Annoying

      February 11, 2025

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      Ally? My Dad Threw Up Inside Of Hogwarts Castle

      May 13, 2025

      Screen Rides Mostly Suck. I Miss When Theme Park Rides Were Full Of Animatronics That Scared Kids, Malfunctioned All The Time, And Sucked You Off

      May 12, 2025

      People Love Relatable “Local Man” Articles And I Don’t Have Any Funny Ideas Today, So Here’s My Friend Joe’s Full Name And Address

      May 8, 2025
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025

      Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

      May 18, 2024

      REPORT: Secretariat Proud Of Derby Winning Descendant And Disappointed In 13 Losing Descendants

      May 6, 2025

      All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

      April 4, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025

      In Memoriam: Our Head Of Data Operations, Ryan

      April 22, 2025

      Congrats To Robot Butt’s April Team Member Of The Month, Ryan!

      April 21, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Leaked transcript of Donald Trump Finding Out Quatar Is Giving Him A Plane

      May 17, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Leaked transcript of Donald Trump Finding Out Quatar Is Giving Him A Plane

      May 17, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      As Windows 95 Installations Near Completion, Gen-X Techies Turn to the Horizon of the Future

      May 18, 2025

      Leaked transcript of Donald Trump Finding Out Quatar Is Giving Him A Plane

      May 17, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025
    Robot Butt
    Politics

    I Am Your Mother’s Pearl Necklace and These Are My Last Words

    By Ezgi ÜstündağJuly 9, 2020

    I know Linda doesn’t always think before she speaks, but I need you to be the adult here and deescalate…

    Entertainment

    ‘Fuller House’ v. ‘Friends’: My Quest to Understand Why I Watched ‘Fuller House’

    By Ashley SeamanJuly 7, 2020

    To investigate my compulsive binge-watching of Fuller House, I’ve held it up against another show I obsessively consumed: Friends. Both…

    Sports

    Inspirational Phrases I Think My Middle School Basketball Coach Got Wrong

    By Jen FreymondJuly 6, 2020

    You take a hundred percent of the shots you miss. Stop shooting the ball. It’s not whether you get knocked…

    History

    Twelve Other Things That Happened on July 4th, 1776

    By May GauthierJuly 4, 2020

    By 3:16 a.m., all 2.5 million persons living within the thirteen colonies have awakened and begun the day. At exactly…

    Entertainment

    Using Lines From ‘Independence Day’ to Describe What It’s Like to Celebrate This Independence Day

    By Charles StaytonJuly 4, 2020

    Welcome to Earth. Everyone should remain calm. Take cover where you can but the important thing is not to panic.…

    Life

    Places To Go: Your July Fourth Weekend Travel Guide

    By Sara Goudarzi and Amy PoeppelJuly 4, 2020

    Edgartown, Martha’s Vineyard: Drive to Cape Cod and take the twenty-minute ferry to the island where the rich and famous…

    Life

    The Very Few Potential Reasons to Celebrate Anything On July Fourth

    By Robert Criss and David Ceron GiraldoJuly 3, 2020

    You’re celebrating the Bangladeshi holiday of Ashari Purnima.  You’re celebrating Guam, Samoan, and Filipino independence. You’re celebrating the colors red…

    Life

    I’m Having a Huge Fourth of July Party This Year and Nobody Is Invited!

    By Chris BrotzmanJuly 3, 2020

    Hell yeah. July 4th. My favorite time of the year. I’m ready to throw on my American flag dude thong,…

    Life

    The Fourth of July Is a Star-Spangled Diversion

    By Lucie FrostJuly 2, 2020

    BEWARE! They dress July 4th up in shiny spangles, but that’s just to draw your attention. They give you a…

    Breaking News

    U.S. Nuclear Response Time Up From 4 Minutes to However Long 18 Holes Takes

    By Robot Butt News Corp.July 2, 2020

    WASHINGTON – In its annual report to Congress, the Pentagon today informed members of the Armed Services committee that the…

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