Editor’s Note: Recently discovered secret recordings of the 2002 critics’ screening of Reign of Fire, the universally panned movie about dragons set largely in post-apocalyptic Scotland, suggest that something more deliberate was at work among the nation’s top film critics. These recordings have been edited to preserve confidentiality. RE: Are you ok? You’ve been shaking for the last hour. LM: I’m fine, I’m fine. As soon as I saw the part of the credits that said “Visual Effects by,” I was able to stop. RE: I understand completely. Five minutes in, I was a wreck. I just kept mumbling to myself,…
Author: Jeff King
Jeff King
Jeff King is a writer who lives in Canada with his family, several rabbits, chickens, and a 110-year-old printing press that he and his brother-in-law are attempting to use unironically. His work has appeared or is forthcoming in JAKE, Bewildering Stories, and Little Old Lady Comedy.
I still remember that day so many years ago in 2024. You came home freaking out about how 90% of my peers had told some survey that they wanted to be YouTube influencers when they grew up. “That will never happen,” you said, gritting your teeth with indignation. Well, here we are a decade later and look at us: YouTube Nation, baby! And let me just say, Dad, this future we’re living in is awesome! Of course, there have been challenges. When the water stopped working from everyone being YouTube stars and there not being enough water treatment workers, I…
It started with my nephew. My girlfriend and I were watching him for my brother. He was a cute kid. Round little head. His mom had put him in some sort of funny fleece hat that drooped at the top, like a wide, loose sock. “He’s got a bit of a cold,” she’d said as she left. “Maybe keep the hat on him if you can.” We were putting away lunch, and I’d nearly finished filling the dishwasher when all of a sudden, from the other room I heard the baby say very loudly, “Ebida, eh-bida, eh-bbbida…” There was then…