9 Clean Energy Alternatives to Nightmare Fuel
Oct31

9 Clean Energy Alternatives to Nightmare Fuel

Tidal Power (That’s Calling From Inside the House!) It’s saving you a ton, but your house is terribly flooded. Also your basement is now inhabited by some sort of lagoon creature (probably the one who got a hold of the phone)! A Barrel of Flex Fuel Under a White Sheet With Two Eye Holes Cut Out Why it donned this spooky regalia is unclear. As if the very notion of this bastard Frankenstein born of two fuels wasn’t terrifying...

Read More
Spooky Boyfriend Story
Oct31

Spooky Boyfriend Story

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. There were these teenagers and they were makin’ out in a car, okay, and it’s wooded and dark and secluded, and there was a serial killer on the loose. They hear a car pull up behind them and they see the car turn off the headlights. The dude turns to his lady friend and is like “Don’t worry bae, I got this. But whatever you do, don’t get out of the car or go peeping...

Read More
Stephen King’s New Book Follows Author Haunted by Horrible Adaptations of His Stories
Aug04

Stephen King’s New Book Follows Author Haunted by Horrible Adaptations of His Stories

BOSTON, Mass. – Fans of horror maestro Stephen King are in for a treat this fall, as the author is releasing his brand-new book Cursed, which tells the story of a world-famous author who is forced to endure hundreds of awful, half-assed, and downright terrible adaptions of his heralded work. “I’ve written about so many things in my career,” said King, who has produced sixty books and almost two hundred short...

Read More
The New Adventures in Horror: ‘Oculus’
Oct07

The New Adventures in Horror: ‘Oculus’

A couple years ago I had some fun watching whatever schlock Netflix recommended I watch for Halloween. The fact that it was fun is exactly why horror is probably my favorite genre. It’s the only genre where I can get just as much enjoyment out of the bad examples as I do the good. There is a thin line between horror and comedy, so when someone misunderstands what makes something scary the result can be immensely gratifying. But that...

Read More
Ted Cruz’s Skin Suit Beginning to Tear at Seams
Apr29

Ted Cruz’s Skin Suit Beginning to Tear at Seams

SAN FRANCISCO – Talk about a political gaffe. Ted Cruz suffered a humiliating wardrobe malfunction while campaigning in California this week when his suit of human skin began to tear at the seams during the candidate’s stump speech. “I promise, I will be the only candidate to stand up to the Washington Cartel and BRRRRZZZZGGGLEEEE EGOOOORKK,” Cruz said, as the human speech translator dislodged from his throat...

Read More
Page 1 of 41234