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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      22-Year-Old Describes Kind of Weird Thing They Saw as ‘Lynchian’

      April 10, 2025

      James Bond Gets Briefed on SignalGate

      April 2, 2025

      “Too Dark and Incredibly Quiet” Becomes Highest Grossing Unintelligible Film Ever

      March 14, 2025

      Rewrite Notes from the New White House Office of Cultural Redemption

      March 7, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      Country Songwriters Decide to Continue Rhyming ‘Whiskey’ with ‘Frisky’ Until at Least 2047

      April 1, 2025

      10 ‘Mature’ Rock Songs That Needed Updated Titles

      March 8, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      McGruff the Crime Dog Gets a MAGA Reboot

      April 13, 2025
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Drinking A Lite Beer

      April 27, 2025

      A Cartoon About Pizza

      April 24, 2025

      A Cartoon About A Greek Wrap

      March 23, 2025

      We’re Giving Our Iconic Paperclip Character his Own Comic Series Because Eventually Something We Do Has to Work, Right?

      February 8, 2025

      “TRUMPLESTILSKIN” AND OTHER UPDATED BROTHERS GRIMM STORIES:

      April 7, 2025

      Look Here Pardner, According To The Most Recent Class 9 Census Report, This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

      February 15, 2025

      What Happened to the Great American Mall

      January 27, 2025

      Ernest Hemingway Goes Sober Curious 

      August 8, 2024
    • History

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025

      Just Making Sure You Know That Michael Bay Directed the First “Got Milk” Ad

      January 5, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      FECES BIOLOGIST FINDS OUT YOU CAN PICK LITERALLY ANY JOB ON EARTH

      April 16, 2025

      PLACEBO EFFECT? We Gave a 10-Year-Old Non-Alcoholic Beer and He Wrecked His Car

      January 23, 2025

      To Chimp or Not to Chimp? A New Proposal to Save the Shakespeare Typewriter Experiment

      November 11, 2024

      New Study Shows Thirty Percent of Bat Boys in Major League Baseball Evolve Into Vampires

      September 29, 2024

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      How to Show You’re Smart Without Saying a Word: What We Can Learn From Mimes 

      February 24, 2025

      All the “Life Hacks” in the World Won’t Make that Term Any Less Annoying

      February 11, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      Current Betting Odds On What Name Will Be Chosen By The Next Pope

      May 1, 2025

      Easter, 4/20, and Wrestlemania Are All Today. Here Are Some Tips For Balancing The Three Holidays

      April 20, 2025
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025

      Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

      May 18, 2024

      All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

      April 4, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      Elon Musk Trolled During Live-Stream By Viewers Spamming “What Are You Eating Under There?”

      April 17, 2025

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025

      In Memoriam: Our Head Of Data Operations, Ryan

      April 22, 2025

      Congrats To Robot Butt’s April Team Member Of The Month, Ryan!

      April 21, 2025

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025
    Robot Butt
    Life

    Life Directions From Your Self-Righteous GPS

    By Ilana M. RubinDecember 29, 2017

    We’re taking 6th Avenue. Despite usual traffic, you will arrive at your destination by 4 p.m. Okay, let’s go! In…

    Breaking News

    Day After Christmas Officially Tired of Playing Second Fiddle to Black Friday

    By Robot Butt News Corp.December 28, 2017

    A press conference held this week to mark the holiday season turned controversial when December 26th told reporters that it…

    Life

    A Field Guide to Celebrating Kwanzaa With Your Christmas Family in Your Aunt’s Gentrifying Neighborhood

    By Pauline EkholtDecember 28, 2017

    Explain Kwanzaa to Your Aunt Pat Every year the day after Christmas, Aunt Pat forgets Kwanzaa is a cultural celebration…

    Life

    Places to Hide the Kale So That Your Wife Will Think You Ate It

    By Michael FerroDecember 27, 2017

    In a safety deposit box In your old VCR in that slot where the videotape goes in In your cowboy…

    Donald Trump’s Big, Beautiful New Year’s Resolutions

    By Steph WestendorfDecember 27, 2017

    Get General Kelly to like me (send him a MAGA hat). Ask Ivanka to ask Pence to ask Kelly to…

    Breaking News

    ‘Fox & Friends’ Devotes Entire Episode to Explaining Santa Claus to Trump

    By Robot Butt News Corp.December 24, 2017

    NEW YORK – In an unusual programming move, Fox & Friends, the popular Fox News morning show that has become a ritual…

    Life

    Maximize Your Dry Shampoo This Holiday Season!

    By Melanie LaForceDecember 23, 2017

    Dry shampoo: A grown-ass woman’s personal Jesus Christ. If the memes are true, all of our scalps are comprised of…

    Life

    The Best Sledgehammer and Tire Workouts

    By Ralph GamelliDecember 23, 2017

    What you will need: A sledgehammer An old tire placed on its side An overwhelming sense of rage Workout…

    Breaking News

    South Bend Shovel Slayer Taunts Authorities in New Letter

    By Robot Butt News Corp.December 22, 2017

    CHICAGO – Following a break in communication of nearly three decades, Chicago homicide detectives say they have received a new…

    Articles

    Holiday Greeting Suggestions for Starbucks Baristas

    By Ronia SmitsDecember 22, 2017

    Due to ongoing concerns about offending our customers through the “holiday season” by saying “Merry Christmas,” we at Starbucks decided…

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