Author: Walt Braley

Looking to get your electronics back in top shape without any risk of someone stealing your nude photos? Look no further! A member of our top tier electronic repair staff ALWAYS uploads a nude photo of themselves onto your phone or computer. That way, if you have any fear they may stolen yours, you have equal leverage! If you think there’s a chance your sensitive photos were stolen during the repair process, you can always reach out to us and ask for us to investigate. But if you are SURE your technician stole your photos, you can take the one…

OOF! Bummer! Looks like this single father of three needs a triple bypass that he can’t afford. Unfortunately, he had some unreal luck with the timing of his post onto our crowd-funding site. Due to impossible to foresee coincidence, his post is right next to another post raising money to save an adorable little poochie. It seems that while this dad will need some kind of miracle if he wants to see any of his three identical twin sons again, wittle ol’ Waffles is going to get dewormed after all. Aren’t you? Aren’t you getting dewormed? Whose a good boy?…

After literal years of intensive market testing, we are finally ready to enter the lucrative world of themed breakfast cereals marketed towards children (although we think you parents are going to love these too). Fried Chicken Holes is the only cereal currently on the market that is at least 51% chunk white meat chicken. I know, we couldn’t believe it either. General Mills has been leaving money on the table for like, 50 years! Our food scientists have managed to take the fried chicken taste we all love and condense it down into every tiny crispy piece! They also ask…

Here at Business Brand Solutions, we are focused on one thing: solutions for your business and brand. We don’t get caught in the minutia of “products,” “media,” “social presence,” or “sales.” We simply don’t have time to dwell on those aspects of a business or brand because we’re far too busy generating low visibility unquantifiable solutions. A lot of current and prospective clients are overly fixated on what we “do.” We tell them they’re wasting valuable time and energy getting into the weeds, when they should be focusing on on all the integrated business analytics our service is sure to…

I recently went on a trip to Universal Orlando, and park-hopped between Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios. I wrote a weird disjointed article about it yesterday if you want to feel like there are bees in your head. When we entered the park, we were immediately greeted by The Incredible Hulk coaster. A massive green coaster that turns you upside down a bunch of times and has a kid in line in front of you that won’t stop talking to you for some reason. My dad suggested we ride it immediately first, and I subtly moved us more towards…

EDITOR’S NOTE: This was supposed to be a sponsored post until we sent them the working title and, after a 23 email exchange, they scrapped the deal. AUTHOR’S NOTE: There’s (almost) nothing in this piece about theme park rides sucking you off. That’s clickbait. This is a mostly sincere complaint and reflection on the modern theme park experience, mixed with some casual essaying about family vacations. Like the shit John Hughes wrote before he made all those movies about teenagers smoking weed, or the stuff John Hodgman writes when he isn’t on every podcast I listen to. I recently went…

Here is a normal cartoon about the popular books people are reading on public transit.

We all love those articles that are like “this person did that thing we’ve all done or been annoyed by someone else doing!” I have been banging my head against the wall trying to think of something that’s universal enough that it would hit a wide audience, and I am just having one of those days where I can’t think of a gosh darn thing. So, finally, I decided what’s more relatable than having a name and address. Hell, almost all of us have one or are at least familiar with the idea. I’m chuckling already just thinking about addresses.…

Here’s a normal cartoon about drinking some crisp lite beers and relaxing with some recreational video games.

Here is a normal cartoon about the pizza available right now at your local 7/11 convenience store.