“To bolster its ailing alcohol industry, Japan’s National Tax Agency has kicked off a contest inviting those ages 20 to 39 to submit ideas for encouraging people to consume more alcohol.” New York Times Slogan Entries: It’s Hot Girl Fall-Down!! Relax, Now You Have A Life Plan! Cute Sober, Doable Drunk FILL THE HOLE!! (featuring Toshiro Mifune as Yojimbo) Congratulations! You’ve Advanced to the Bonus Round! You Call That Shit-Faced? You ARE the Gross National Product Dated Quality, Married Quantity YOLO: You Only Liver Once This Year, Be the “Wacky Drunk Friend” Enough Enough!! Your Novel Is Just Five Sakes…
Author: T. Kent Jones
T. Kent Jones
T. Kent Jones has written for The Daily Show on Comedy Central, Air America Radio with Marc Maron, The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC, Points in Case, Two Fifty One, MuddyUm, Slackjaw, Robot Butt, The Daily Drunk, End of the Bench and many others.
Symptoms? Yeah, offhand I’d say sluggish, achy, sore throat, swelling in my lymph nodes, IBS. Can’t concentrate. You’re saying my Marvel Fatigue is definitely getting worse? Movies shouldn’t make you feel like you have Lyme disease? Okay, you’re gonna kill me, doc, but I went to see “Thor Love and Thunder” thinking it would cure me. I know. I know. But it’s the guy who made “Ragnarok” and that funny Hitler movie. And they fan-serviced me so hard. Natalie Portman as Mini Thor. Christian Bale plays a guy called Gorr the God Killer who kills gods. Chris Hemsworth shows his bare ass. Punch in…