Good evening! Keep it going for the MC. I don’t know his name. No matter, it’s what’s we know within ourselves that counts. How is everyone doing, good? Great!! So how does that make you feel? …………………………………………………………. Hmm. Collective anxiety. Uncomfortable with silence. You sir, in the front, sitting alone, how are you both doing? I refer of course to you AND your shadow self. Seriously folks, who had a weird dream they’d like to share!? ……………………………… Hmm. Still? Well, it’s been four minutes, so my five minutes is up! Good night and don’t forget to go easy on the…
Author: Sarah Ristine
Sarah Ristine
Aside from Twitter, @sarahristine, where I have the series Speedy Chef, I can be found looking for a day job before I ease into Walmart greeter territory. I have a background in improvisational theater and currently live in the Hudson Valley with my husband and a cat. We lived in the SF Bay Area where I was one of three people who did not work in tech.
Nothing says festivity like a table made special with personal touches. The following are a few of my favorite unfussy tips and tricks for dressing the table: 1. Take a square paper napkin and fold it in half. Lay a fork over it. Voilà. That is really all you need. It keeps the focus on the food and conversation. 2. For a more edgy look, make the fold on the diagonal. 3. If you want to get really snazzy, make one diagonal fold, then another. Now you have what I like to call a pocket square fold. Pocket square – as…
Good morning, students! Those French again leisurely, or more to the point, lazily, celebrate the Fourth of July ten days late, on July 14th. They’ll use preparing for the World Cup as an excuse. Oh puh-lease. This could be a problem of translation. The French word for four is quatre and fourteen is quatorze. Confusing! But you’d think by now they’d have figured it out?! So why do they call it Bastille Day? The outmoded, or “a la mode,” theory (note the culinary reference) is that it refers to a storming of the Bastille prison in 1789. Wrong. “Bastille” is perhaps a French…
Though you only have one brow Hope your day is WOW! Happy birthday! Enough with the Mexican Communist Party Join the Birthday Cake and Ice Cream Party! Happy Birthday!! So you’ve spent nine months in bed Spend one day opening presents instead! Happy birthday!!! After “Without Hope” and “Wounded Deer” Paint Your Special Day With Balloons and Cheer! Happy Birthday!!!! Though your marriage may be fraught, full of infidelities and stormy The forecast for your birthday is Fun fun fun! Happy birthday!!!!! To the coolest feminist hero we know See the candles, look at them…
Buttermilk: This doesn’t technically ever go bad right? Keep. Capers: What are they? No one knows. They give the condiment shelf a touch of class. Keep. A half glass of Sauvignon Blanc in the bottle: Leftover from book club. Carol. She can put it away. Note to self – hide the good bottles for next meeting. They no doubt forgot about my drunken tirade. Waiting for RSVPs for second meeting. Keep. Ketchup loaded with horrible high fructose corn syrup: Meant to buy the good stuff. Save it for guests. Keep. Old raw meat in nice glass-covered dish: Toss the meat…