PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE SEATTLE, WA—Veteran door-to-door salesman Kent Wallner has added 87 additional neighborhoods to his ongoing farewell tour. Wallner will be making his final rounds selling vacuum cleaners this fall, as confirmed by Keely Vacuum Co. The tour, which has now been extended a record-breaking 16 times, will conclude an unparalleled solicitation career of nearly five decades and over a million invasions of privacy. “The tour was coming to an end, but we realized that there were still so many homeowners who had yet to be accosted,” stated a Keely rep. “Wallner has been one of our…
Author: Gregory Virgin
Gregory Virgin
Gregory Virgin is a writer, comedian, and 17-time Academy Award viewer. He has contributed to The Weekly Humorist, The Philadelphia Satirer, and The Needling. Gregory happily donates 100% of his earnings to various charities, such as The Gregory Virgin Fund for the Advancement of Gregory Virgin.