Dear Father: First of all, let me congratulate you on your new fatherhood. It fills me with joy to be the first person in our family to do so on this occasion. Secondly, I would like to tell you that I am aware that it is not usual for a newborn to bring a handwritten letter with it, but the subject I am addressing seems to me to be extremely urgent. If I am writing this letter to you and not to my dear mother, it is because, as I understand, you have unilaterally decided to name me Blouncie, a…