Magnanimous reality show jury, it’s true, I am once again voting a woman off of this high stakes social game for a million dollars. You might think my voting has become something of a predictable pattern, but this is in fact purely objective and strategic gameplay going on here. It just happens to look like misogyny.
On a personal level, I love Susan. She has been nothing but kind, clever, and exceedingly good at making waffles. She even put her own game on the line to save me from elimination last week. But I can’t let my emotions get the best of me, unlike Susan did today.
In a scene that has become all too common, Phil was exploding at the rest of us for not picking him to play in the Bonus Challenge. Boy, was he letting us have it. You can’t help but respect a guy so frustrated with his peers that he is willing to throw an entire futon at them.
Phil is always enraged about something. But if he wasn’t, I assume he’d be awfully charming. Nobody likes him, but that’s no excuse to target him for elimination. His 10-0 competition track record, background in criminal defense, and attempted bribes to half the jury are much better reasons. Nonetheless, I can’t let how obviously threatening he is to the rest of us both game-wise and physically cloud my judgement. Especially after how Susan reacted to Phil’s latest outburst.
The futon Phil threw hit me, and I suppose that was Susan’s last straw. She claims to have a sort of motherly bond with me. And I don’t deny our instant connection, but I’m also trying to distance myself from her, as you might expect after today. So, let’s say she’s my estranged, adopted mother, almost like someone who you’d meet on a reality show who acts like your mother but isn’t. Yeah, exactly like that.
So, the futon breaks my left leg, and Susan runs to my side, all the while berating Phil for his “childishness,” “physical and verbal abuse,” and “complete lack of human decency.” As you might expect from someone as classy as Susan, her speech was well-articulated, 100% factual, and full of zings. But no one can deny that she was raising her voice. I even saw a forehead vein!
Her reaction raises a lot of red flags for the rest of us. I mean, would any rational person be upset about Phil’s continued reign of terror? Sure. But Susan’s 15 second long, semi-loud rebuttal was just too much. It borders on theatrics. Or hysteria. Either way, it would make any smart competitor weary of her.
While Susan went off to build me a DIY leg brace, the rest of us got to talking, and the fact of the matter is that Susan is just too much of a wildcard in this game right now. We know without a doubt that Phil will continue to dominate in challenges and decimate our physical and mental health, but after this one outburst, Susan has shown herself to be the true threat.
I mean, if she can pull a natural human reaction out of thin air like that, defend me from constant abuse, and nurse me back to health as if I was her own child, she’s just too likable to keep around. After all, I applied to play this game for a chance at a million dollars, not to make genuine human connections or keep my sense of self-worth intact.Well, the logic is logic-ing so, yes, I vote to eliminate Susan. Mama Susan, if you’re watching this back, it really isn’t anything personal. I’d still love to come to Thanksgiving.