5 Times You Could Almost See Willis Tower When You Whimsically Stared Out Your Window With a Sense of Wonder
Sep25

5 Times You Could Almost See Willis Tower When You Whimsically Stared Out Your Window With a Sense of Wonder

One of the best ways to feel inspired and self-reflect is staring whimsically out your window with a sense of wonder, and here are the five times you could almost see the Willis Tower while doing so! 1) When you had just moved to a new city to pursue your dream Leaving all your friends and family behind is not easy. You sat by your first floor apartment’s window with a hot cup of tea and sighed heavily, feeling a little anxious and a...

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Wow! This Woman’s Boss Made a Pass at Her, So She Transported Herself to the Land of Space Elves
Jul19

Wow! This Woman’s Boss Made a Pass at Her, So She Transported Herself to the Land of Space Elves

  Brace yourself for a story that could lead to the sweeping overthrow of the patriarchy! Being a successful professional woman is no walk in the park. This local 26-year old, Mary Karpow, had already seen her female superiors getting paid less compared to their male counterparts, passed up for promotions and so on and so forth. So late last week, when her boss made a pass at her, she decided to take a stand for all womankind and...

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God Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Gun Violence Victims
Mar10

God Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Gun Violence Victims

THE HEAVENS – Our Heavenly Father, God Almighty, extended His “thoughts and prayers to all the recent gun violence victims and their families” via a Facebook post Friday, admitting that it was hard to understand the recent violent acts and He was sure the victims were needed in a “better place.” He, Creator of Heaven and Earth, requested his seven billion Facebook followers to take a moment of silence and reflect on the recent...

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Office Thermostat Set To ‘Fuck You’
Feb06

Office Thermostat Set To ‘Fuck You’

EVANSTON, Ill. – Reports confirm that after exploring several options like ‘Fuck You Sally,’ ‘Fuck You Billy’ and ‘Fuck You James,’ at press time the office thermostat was finally set to a non-discriminating ‘Fuck You’ in all rooms. “I think it’s a pretty nice setting, simple and clear, assuring no one in the entire office is comfortable at any moment or in any corner of the building, ever. Given that we are an...

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Woman Experiences Uncomfortable Silence in Her Head
Sep27

Woman Experiences Uncomfortable Silence in Her Head

EVANSTON, Ill. – Earlier today, local 24-year-old Lisa Paretti suffered through the ordeal of being left alone with her conscience when the chatter of her girlfriends died down for a few seconds, leading her to experience a moment of uncomfortable silence in her head. “Last time I found myself alone with myself, it got pretty awkward. To ease things over I took myself out to get a drink and the sweet thoughtless bliss that...

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