Spontaneous Erections Somehow Part of God’s Plan
Jun15

Spontaneous Erections Somehow Part of God’s Plan

PLANO, Texas – Local accountant and fervent Christian Terry Cooper told reporters Wednesday that, in a moment of divine inspiration, God had revealed His plan for him. Surprisingly, the plan consists primarily of Cooper experiencing a long series of unwarranted and impossible-to-conceal erections at unfortunate times. But despite the unique challenges the Lord had laid out for him, Cooper refuses to question how it all fits into...

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Perfectly Good Boner Goes to Waste
Oct13

Perfectly Good Boner Goes to Waste

OKLAHOMA CITY – Despite early predictions, a rock-hard boner tragically went unused late Monday night. Baffling locals, the waste of the good, hard rod comes as no surprise to researchers of national chubby trends. A recent report by the John Hopkins Center for Stiffy Studies found that 98% of the U.S. hard-on supply is lost each year, mainly from consumer waste. The findings, first published in the November issue of The Boner...

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6 Insanely Hot Pictures of Breadsticks That Will Make Your Penis Move
Sep24

6 Insanely Hot Pictures of Breadsticks That Will Make Your Penis Move

These breadsticks are looking pretty lubed up. Nice and slick, perfect for sliding into your mouth with no resistance.   There we go, that’s the good stuff. So close you can practically taste it. So close it’s taking everything in your power not to lock the doors, close the curtains and set aside a four-hour block of private time between you and these throbbing rods of baked bread.   Holy shit, that’s nice....

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