A Look at This Year’s FDA Halloween Candy Advisory
Oct26

A Look at This Year’s FDA Halloween Candy Advisory

The Food and Drug Administration has issued a Halloween Candy Advisory for the following sweets and snacks. Many are believed to originate in Eastern Europe or China as deliberate attempts to confuse consumers and flood the market with inferior soundalike brands that taste even more disgusting than they sound. Obviously this is a completely inappropriate way to honor an innocent national holiday that just happens to have its origins...

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Putting Razor Blades Inside Your Halloween Candy This Year? Don’t Forget These 8 Tips!
Sep19

Putting Razor Blades Inside Your Halloween Candy This Year? Don’t Forget These 8 Tips!

Can you believe Halloween is nearly here once again? It snuck up on us too, but if you’re planning to put razor blades into all the candy you’ll be passing out this year, don’t be left unprepared! With these eight essential tips, you’ll be ready for all of the neighborhood children come Halloween night: 1. All hard candies are out, obviously. Unless you’ve taken the time to build your own confectionary...

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The New Hershey Logo is Literally Poop
Sep01

The New Hershey Logo is Literally Poop

We could say that the people at Hershey’s made a grave error by designing a new logo that includes what appears to be a neat little turd pile, but that’s not giving their marketing geniuses (who, based on this development, may or may not serve Funyuns at meetings) any credit. They knew they were designing a round, steaming mass of poop, and they knew we’d all notice it. And really, none of us would be spending much...

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King Kandy’s Reign Begins With Delicious Crackdown on Dissenters
Jun06

King Kandy’s Reign Begins With Delicious Crackdown on Dissenters

PUDDINGTON CITY, Puddington – Candy Land, long the liberal bastion of the Candy Realm, has traditionally been a haven for refugees from its less democratic neighbors. Now, in the wake of a recent coup, Candy Land’s new monarch, King Kandy, has begun a brutal but delicious crackdown on dissenters, leading to thousands fleeing the kingdom. A leader of the exile community, Tom Taffy, says dozens of professors, activists and...

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