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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
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      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      Movie Theater Popcorn Almost Makes It To Regal Coca Cola Ad

      January 20, 2026

      Gilligan’s Island Press Conference: The Skipper Tilts at Windmills

      January 17, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      RE: My Upcoming Concert at Your Starbucks. 

      September 6, 2025

      After Drummer Porn Arrest, New Pornographers Look for Less Controversial Band Name 

      May 21, 2025

      DISCUSSION THREAD: Idris Elba’s Music

      May 16, 2025

      Movie Goers Excited to Sleep Through New Avatar Film

      March 2, 2026

      John Hamm to Play Every Role in New Film, Even Inanimate Objects

      February 24, 2026

      COUNTRY SONG TITLES FOR DOGS

      February 18, 2026

      Just A Quick Anecdote About Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 And Frank Millar’s Graphic Novel 300

      January 29, 2026
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Alarm Clocks

      February 4, 2026

      Happy Holidays! Here’s A Cartoon About Christmas Trees

      December 25, 2025

      The Riddles Of Dragon Hollow: An Ultra-Short Pulp Fantasy Parody

      September 20, 2025

      Tis Time For More Advice From The Advice Imp!

      September 10, 2025

      Coffee Comrades

      February 26, 2026

      THE THREE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

      January 23, 2026

      Beckett versus Beckett

      October 4, 2025

      I Am a Business Person, and so are you

      September 27, 2025
    • History

      Seder hopping with the Passover King

      May 15, 2025

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Scientists Discover Trending Chimpanzee Fashion Statement: Sticking Grass In Their Ears And Backsides

      February 27, 2026

      Report: 80% Of People Looking At Their Phones On The Train Are Watching Porn 

      January 25, 2026

      Eat More Maggots And Unleash Your Inner Neanderthal

      January 22, 2026

      Thank You AI!

      January 6, 2026

      Daves Are Going Extinct 

      May 27, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026

      Peanut Butter is Coming Back to School!

      March 6, 2026

      Dear Neighbor, I Assume The Hammering Coming From Next Door Is You Building Your Own Coffin Because I Plan To Kill You In The Night

      March 3, 2026

      An American’s Pocket Guide To British English

      March 1, 2026
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026

      NFL Team Eliminated? Clueless about Football? Find a Favorite: A Pre-Super Bowl Connection Guide For Choosing YOUR Bandwagon 

      January 22, 2026

      Colorado Buffalo Replacement Mascot Part of Failed Conspiracy?

      September 30, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Super Bowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Woman Pretending to Like Sports to Sleep With Man Asks Him Which Soccer Teams Played in the Super Bowl

      February 21, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      LIFEHACK: When Your Dad Texts You About Not Understanding The Bad Bunny Halftime Show, Reuse Your Responses From The Kendrick Lamar Halftime Show

      February 8, 2026

      Hey, Uh, Did This Canva Template Just Invent A New Sports League?

      February 7, 2026
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Lindsey Vonn Suffers Crash In Wheelchair Race At Hospital 

      February 17, 2026

      Seconds Before Competing At The Highest Level, Entire World Comes Together To Boo J.D. Vance

      February 6, 2026

      HEARTBREAKING: Middle Schooler With Mad Libs Book Out Of Bad Words

      January 26, 2026

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026

      Robot Butt Live’s Halloween Special Is Tonight! We Have Murder, Intrigue, And Improv!

      October 30, 2025

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Is Closed Today! RIP Gene! Our Open Mic Night Is Still This Wednesday, March 4th!

      March 2, 2026

      Chicago Friends, We Have A New Show Called “Open Mic Night At A Bowling Alley” Coming To The Annoyance Theater Wednesdays In March!

      February 22, 2026
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      Stream The New Sketch Comedy Album Mr. Sandwich Right Now!

      August 15, 2025

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Canada, Mexico, and European Union Eagerly Build Trump’s Wall

      March 8, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Canada, Mexico, and European Union Eagerly Build Trump’s Wall

      March 8, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026

      Dayton Bowling Center Announcement: Last Week To Claim February Lost And Found Items, Also Open Mic This Wednesday Night!

      March 9, 2026

      BREAKING: Your Oven Clock Has The Time Wrong

      March 8, 2026

      Canada, Mexico, and European Union Eagerly Build Trump’s Wall

      March 8, 2026

      A Warning Guide for Limerent Newbies

      March 7, 2026
    Robot Butt
    Entertainment

    Excellent Rap Lyrics, Volume XXIV: Does Kanye West Know Former CIA Director George Tenet?

    By SteveJanuary 15, 2019

    Kanye West has always been hovering around the political world. First he informed the nation that George W. Bush doesn’t…

    Entertainment

    The Lost Quotes of William Goldman

    By Lee SachsJanuary 14, 2019

    William Goldman, legendary screenwriter of such movies as The Princess Bride, All the President’s Men and Butch Cassidy and the…

    Life

    I Peloton, Therefore I Am

    By Chris BrotzmanJanuary 13, 2019

    Seventeenth century philosopher Rene Descartes was on to something when he noticed that merely having thoughts was enough to verify…

    Articles

    Pick Your Jaw Up Off the Floor CES – Our Logo Is Now Wordless

    By Lindsay EllisJanuary 12, 2019

    By Ajaypal Singh Banga, MasterCard CEO On the first day of CES, we joined tech giants such as Amazon and…

    Life

    Millennial Ways to End a Relationship

    By Grant LeaseJanuary 11, 2019

    1. Self-destructing voice text 2. Emoji hieroglyphics 3. Venmo request for “breakup fee” 4. ARG (Alternate Reality Game) left in…

    Entertainment

    Is My Boyfriend’s Love of Paul Thomas Anderson Ruining Our Relationship or Am I Just a Special Edition Blu-ray of ‘Boogie Nights’?

    By Courtney YoungJanuary 11, 2019

    My boyfriend Jake and I have been together for a quite a while. Come to think of it, I can’t…

    Politics

    Baby Boomers Are Killing the Retirement Home Industry

    By Tim GaydosJanuary 10, 2019

    For generations, when people got past a certain age, they were shipped off to subpar facilities where they would live…

    Life

    Tips for New Gym-Goers: Do Whatever the Fuck You Want Because You Paid the Same Money for This Gym!

    By Sarah JamesJanuary 9, 2019

    Going to the gym as a newcomer can be intimidating. It can feel like the “regulars” are judging you for…

    Life

    I Used to Be the Proud Father of an Honor Student, Until I Remembered That Pride Is a Sin

    By Dan CapreraJanuary 8, 2019

    Confession time, folks… Two months ago, when my son Jeffrey got accepted onto his school’s honor roll, I was pretty…

    Entertainment

    Satan Reacts to His Golden Globes Shout-Out

    By Noel HunterJanuary 7, 2019

    Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Holy shit! Christian Bale just thanked me for inspiring him?! CHRISTIAN…

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