Goddamn, no good, greedy slum landlord! Can you believe he would evict me, an old lady, from the shoe that I rent? During a pandemic of all times. Sure, I’m a little behind on rent but what do you expect when I’ve been out of work since March? The first stimulus check for $1,200 helped, but it barely covered my rent. “Almost $1,200 to rent a shoe?” Yes, it’s expensive but it’s still cheaper than any studio apartment in New York City. I was looking forward to some financial relief in the form of a second stimulus check, but thanks…
Author: Jason Garramone
Jason Garramone
Jason Garramone is a writer and all-around comedian. His work has appeared in The Globe and Mail, Points In Case, Weekly Humorist, Slackjaw, Cracked, and Little Old Lady Comedy.
People who first spotted the tracks of a Sasquatch dubbed this legendary creature “Bigfoot,” but I have seen him in his entirety and, let me tell you, he’s going by the wrong name. The size of his feet aren’t what people should be talking about. The dick on this bipedal beast was monolithic. Sure, Bigfoot leaves an impressive footprint behind but those who have seen him in all his glory know him by an entirely different name: Hugecock. What’s that, you weren’t expecting a nine-foot tall man-like ape with enormous feet to be hanging heavy? Of course he’s spectacularly endowed!…