[Editor’s Note: The following is an excerpt from an interview conducted by the Select Committee to Investigate the Destruction of the Planet Alderaan. These hearings took place shortly after the events depicted in Star Wars: A New Hope, aka the original movie, aka the first one with Luke and Leia, aka episode #4 but movie #1. If you’re still confused, I really don’t know how to help you.]
Chairperson: Can you state your full name and where you’re from for the record?
Mr. Wittigun: Bronsar Wittigun. I live–lived–in Alderaan, ma’am.
Chairperson: Were you a part of the Rebellion, Mr. Wittigun?
Mr. Wittigun: No, ma’am.
Chairperson: Did you support the Empire?
Mr. Wittigun: Yes, ma’am.
Chairperson: I’m asking you these questions to establish that you were not, as the Emperor has labeled you in the press, a womp RAT (Rebel Alliance Traitor).
Mr. Wittigun: No, ma’am.
Chairperson: As a matter of fact, you were on the Death Star when it destroyed Alderaan, is that correct?
Mr. Wittigun: It is, ma’am.
Chairperson: What were you doing there?
Mr. Wittigun: Inspections, ma’am. I’m an Engineering Construction Inspector.
Chairperson: And you were there to inspect what, exactly?
Mr. Wittigun: According to the Emperor’s administration, I was there to ensure that the Death Star was fully operational.
Chairperson: You mean that it could destroy an entire planet?
Mr. Wittigun: Not exactly. I was told that it would never actually be used that way.
Chairperson: The Death Star wouldn’t be used to kill?
Mr. Wittigun: They didn’t call it the Death Star. They called it the Deterrent Star. I was told that its function was to keep law and order, but that it would never actually be used.
Chairperson: Tragically, that was a lie.
Mr. Wittigun: Yes, ma’am.
Chairperson: Mr. Wittigun, do you have family on Alderaan?
Mr. Wittigun: I . . . did . . . ma’am.
Chairperson: Would you like to take a break, sir?
Mr. Wittigun: My brother . . . my mom and dad . . .
Chairperson: Let’s take a recess so–
Mr. Wittigun: . . . my daughter.
Chairperson: I’m so, so sorry, Mr. Wittigun.
Mr. Wittigun: Everyone and everything I hold dear. Gone.
Chairperson: Thank you, Mr. Wittigun. Thank you for your testimony. It shows that, through lies and demagoguery and fascism, the Empire–the Emperor himself–wantonly destroyed people’s entire worlds, in every sense of the word. They–HE–must be removed from–
Mr. Wittigun: I didn’t say that.
Chairperson: Mr. Wittigun?
Mr. Wittigun: I mean, the emperor wouldn’t be my first choice to rule the galaxy, but I still support him.
Chairperson: You do?
Mr. Wittigun: Sure.
Chairperson: He went after your reputation. You’ve had to go into hiding.
Mr. Wittigun: It’s been awful.
Chairperson: Your family. Your planet.
Mr. Wittigun: Like I said, he’s not my first choice.
Chairperson: How? How could you . . .? Don’t you feel betrayed? He lied to you about EVERYTHING. All to solidify his own power and gratify his greed.
Mr. Wittigun: My father supported the Empire. My mother supported the Empire. My brother supported the Empire. I support the Empire.
Chairperson: And your daughter?
Mr. Wittigun: My daughter is dead–
Chairperson: Yes, Mr. Wittigun, I know. I’m sorry she died. I’m sorry she was killed–
Mr. Wittigun: to me. My daughter is dead to me. She was dead to me long before the Death Star. She was a no-good womp RAT.
Chairperson: The Emperor built the Death Star. He gave the orders to–
Mr. Wittigun: He says he didn’t give the orders. Says it was Tarkin and Vader acting on their own. Says he loves them, they’re beautiful people, but he can’t be held responsible for their decisions. Besides, do you remember all the protests last summer? Things were starting to get out of hand. If you think about it, it’s just as much the Rebellion’s fault, if not more. They should have never spied on the Empire. I’m not saying they’re entirely to blame; the Emperor made an error in judgment, or at least his followers did. I’m just saying there’s blame to go around.
Chairperson: Aren’t you worried that the Emperor will do it again?
Mr. Wittigun: What are you talking about? The Death Star was destroyed. How could it possibly happen again?
