Fat Joe Hopes to Regain Relevance as Gluten-Free Joe
Mar11

Fat Joe Hopes to Regain Relevance as Gluten-Free Joe

NEW YORK CITY – Recognizing that his stage name no longer fits his persona, and that a change was in order to regain relevance in an evolving, more health-conscious society, rapper Fat Joe has officially rebranded himself as Gluten-Free Joe. “It’s not just the name, it’s a whole lifestyle change, playa,” Gluten-Free Joe said, referencing his impressive weight loss in 2011, when he lost 88 pounds after...

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Millennials Host Artisanal Craft Beard Competition, Reports New York Times Writing Bot
Feb04

Millennials Host Artisanal Craft Beard Competition, Reports New York Times Writing Bot

NEW YORK – An artisanal beard-crafting competition in Bushwick went off without a hitch, according to The New York Times‘ newest reporter, a tenacious young article-writing software program named New York Times Article Writing Bot v. 1.01. Millennial pieces are a necessity for lifestyle reporting, and writing them is notoriously monotonous and stressful, demanding a combination of accuracy, speed and the ability to rapidly...

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