Patient Fills Up Entire Bedpan in Honor of International Nurses Day
May12

Patient Fills Up Entire Bedpan in Honor of International Nurses Day

LONDON – Every year, millions of nurses go unappreciated all around the world, but one thankful patient is going the distance to celebrate International Nurses Day. John Morrison, a patient at St. Vincent Memorial Hospital, has a plan to surprise his nurse with an extra-full bedpan today. “I see the light in her eyes when she enters my room to dump it out, so I made sure to give it my all,” Morrison said. “The...

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Lady Doctor Good Too
Apr20

Lady Doctor Good Too

DALLAS – After a checkup with a new primary care physician, local resident James Norris was relieved to find that a lady doctor can be good, too. “At first I was a little nervous since women are generally known to have smaller heads and thus smaller brains,” Norris said. “And I was a little off put when she didn’t curtsy, or demurely avoid eye contact with me, but you could tell she really did her best, and it...

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‘Breast is Best,’ Insists Winking Hospital President
Apr03

‘Breast is Best,’ Insists Winking Hospital President

Regional Hospital President Eric Webb spoke earlier today at a press conference about Heatherstone General’s new baby-friendly program. “Breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful thing,” said Mr. Webb. “It’s best for the baby, and really anyone else that happens to be around.” The hospital president went on to encourage women to breastfeed “any old time they feel like it: around the house, in a...

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