NRA Announces Nation Just a Few Gun Purchases Away From Eradicating Violence
Nov06

NRA Announces Nation Just a Few Gun Purchases Away From Eradicating Violence

WASHINGTON – Confirming Congress’s long-held theories about the country, a startling new study released today by researchers at the National Rifle Association show that the U.S. is only “a few weapons purchases away” from eliminating gun violence nationwide. The 400-page study presents evidence that the nation would be a “veritable utopia” if not for the few remaining Americans, all mentioned by name, that “inexplicably...

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Most Dangerous Game Nation’s New Favorite Pastime
Dec03

Most Dangerous Game Nation’s New Favorite Pastime

WASHINGTON – With mass shootings occurring at an unprecedented rate, a recent poll finds that the most dangerous game has overtaken baseball and football to become the new national pastime. Analysts believe the popularity of the game can be attributed to its “spontaneity, total lack of rules and extreme violence,” though some have countered that increased media coverage of the sport is what has truly endeared it to the country....

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