HR Department to Be Replaced By Robotic Downsizatrons
Oct15

HR Department to Be Replaced By Robotic Downsizatrons

SEATTLE – During a meeting with executive board members Tuesday to discuss 2016 budget plans, Southern Trinity Hospital CEO Dayton Moore introduced a new strategy to replace all human resources staff with automated Downsizatrons. According to sources in attendance, Moore described the decision as both obvious and necessary, and said there is truly no way to justify continuing to pay human salaries when a robot could be just as...

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Do You Have What It Takes to Be Recruited By ISIS?
Oct07

Do You Have What It Takes to Be Recruited By ISIS?

Islamic State is in a bit of a pickle right now. You see, the honeymoon period is ending between the caliphate and much of its population, especially among the wide variety of skilled professionals. For one reason or another (though I’d venture to guess it’s the deplorable living conditions or the constant threat of an execution), people in vital professions are leaving ISIS in droves. But you know what that means –...

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According to Research, Women and Minorities are Allegedly Fragile and Incapable Employees
Oct02

According to Research, Women and Minorities are Allegedly Fragile and Incapable Employees

The Wall Street Journal had a big report this week on women in the workplace, covering everything from the importance of networking to how to get more women simply working in general. One article in the report detailed the concerning gap between the number of men and women in the tech field particularly, and it included companies like Google, Facebook, Twitter and Yahoo among the culprits. While it seemed like a pretty standard piece...

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Study: 95% of Career Decisions Decided By Nearby Lunch Options
Jun22

Study: 95% of Career Decisions Decided By Nearby Lunch Options

WASHINGTON – U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics researchers this week released a study that found 95 percent of all career decisions were decided by the proximity of the job to affordable restaurants, sandwich shops, delis and cafes. “We were surprised by the results,” lead author Dr. Richard Davis said. “We knew things like commute time, salary and health benefits would be major factors, but the availability of...

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