This summer, scientists should stop using logic and reason to steer the people of this country towards getting on board the renewable energy train. Does that ever work? No! Instead, we should appeal to people’s baser instincts: anger, pride, and narcissism. In fact, facts don’t matter at all. Give the people what they want. Let’s rebrand renewable energy as: SOLAR FLOW! (cue hip-hop track) Are you tired of your energy company always nah nahing in your face all the time with bills, bills, bills? Always saying “you owe us money” like some some kind of thief? Solar Flow lets you…
Author: Melissa Pelletier
Melissa Pelletier
Melissa is a modern woman from New York who takes no prisoners. She writes educational stuff by day, and weird things by night.
Tonight at 10:00 PM on the Elon Musk Network Celebrity robot Dita Andromeda, from New York, has kissed many an amphibian-bot in her day, but is still looking for a Prince Charming with superior performance to call her own. From eight contestants to the final three, she’s put these androids through a gauntlet, determined to find a mate that embodies the human equivalence of wit and a high-quality CPU. Here’s a recap of last week’s episode: Chad-droid 8.0 was off to a good start. Dita was so enraptured with him that the date started out with a greasy, private moment that we…
Ah, spring! It’s that time of year again to take off my thick coat, go for a walk in my neighborhood, get a start on our garden, and take in a local street festival. But these pleasantries can quickly take a dark turn due to my seasonal hallucination problems, a state of psychosis from which many suffer. The constant fear, and gasps to catch my breath, can really take a toll on my ability to be enthusiastic about the new season. When the weather gets warmer, it’s a horror show everywhere I turn. Here are some examples: In my home:…
In honor of the recent passing of Prince, I’ve written an updated version of his classic song “1999”: I was waist deep in flood water when I wrote this only yesterday. It dawned on me that maybe this was gonna be our final day. The sea level is risin’ everybody make for higher ground. Then let’s kick it and get trippy while we all just party down. Say say three thousand zero zero party’s over oops, outta time. So tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 2099 You know this shit’s been comin’ we’ve been reading all the…