“What did you say, deary? Speak into my good ear.” “I know you asked me a question, but I just can’t remember what it was.” “I don’t know what time your appointment is. I don’t even know what year it is.” “There’s a 70 percent chance of rain today. I can feel it in my joints.” “When are you going to settle down?” “How dare you speak to your elders that way!” *nods and smiles* “I don’t recognize your voice. Are you my husband?” “Where am I?” “I just don’t have a purpose anymore.” “Just leave me alone to die.”
Author: Karly Brooks
Karly Brooks
Karly Brooks is a writer living in Brooklyn with her roommate’s dog and also her roommates. Her writing has appeared on McSweeney’s, Robot Butt and Twitter at @brookskarly. Her hobbies include reading and writing, which is sort of sad since her day job is also mostly reading and writing. She should really find another day job.
Thank you, thank you so much everyone. It is truly an honor. Growing up, I thought I was just your average kid. But it was because of participation trophies like this one that I came to know the truth: I am, unquestionably, the best at absolutely everything. First and foremost, I want to thank my parents. Mom and Dad, without your constant encouragement I may never have realized how talented I was at everything I ever did. Thank you for pushing me to be the best I could be, because the truth was that the best I could be was…