I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office
Apr24

I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

I have come to the realization that no one will be saving me. This office – the place that Robot Butt calls home – will be my tomb. After weeks of trying to make contact with my bosses, my family, my friends and my school, I have finally given up. I understand that I was always destined to spend eternity here. Until now, I haven’t mentioned my beautiful girlfriend, Liz. I no longer know how much time has passed in...

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Please Make This Nightmare End
Apr14

Please Make This Nightmare End

I wish I had some good news for you, but things only continue to get worse and, despite my intense embarrassment, I feel I must confess something. I have been stuck in the Robot Butt office since I last wrote on Friday afternoon. After that post, I packed up my things and tried to leave, but the door was locked – from the outside. As I grew desperate to get out, I pulled harder and harder on the doorknob, only to see it break...

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This Internship Isn’t Exactly Going as Planned
Apr11

This Internship Isn’t Exactly Going as Planned

I don’t know what else I can do. I come to this office each and every day, hoping – praying – that someone else will be there, someone to tell me that the management meetings were great and the future of Robot Butt is so bright. But it’s just me – it’s always just me. Every room in the office is devoid of people, though many personal belongings have been left behind. Obviously, I know that the other...

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Did I Forget Something?
Apr03

Did I Forget Something?

Hey everybody, it’s your favorite intrepid intern, Jeremy. Last time we talked, I told you about a huge meeting that Robot Butt management was leaving to attend. Well…they haven’t returned from it. Or at least I don’t think they have. Since they left ten days ago, no one has come back to the office. Every day I come here and it’s just me. However, the site keeps getting updated and it’s obvious that...

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Big Things are About to Happen at Robot Butt
Mar24

Big Things are About to Happen at Robot Butt

Hey everyone, Jeremy here. Big things are happening at Robot Butt, at both a company level and a personal level. For starters, the Robot Butt management team (or “the brain trust” as I like to call them) left today on what appears to be a pretty huge meeting. They’ve been teasing it for a few weeks now, though they haven’t given me many details other than it being a “big opportunity.” Sometimes, I...

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