Author: Jeremy

I have come to the realization that no one will be saving me. This office – the place that Robot Butt calls home – will be my tomb. After weeks of trying to make contact with my bosses, my family, my friends and my school, I have finally given up. I understand that I was always destined to spend eternity here. Until now, I haven’t mentioned my beautiful girlfriend, Liz. I no longer know how much time has passed in this hell, but my desire to see her just once more has never waned. I still dream when I sleep…

I wish I had some good news for you, but things only continue to get worse and, despite my intense embarrassment, I feel I must confess something. I have been stuck in the Robot Butt office since I last wrote on Friday afternoon. After that post, I packed up my things and tried to leave, but the door was locked – from the outside. As I grew desperate to get out, I pulled harder and harder on the doorknob, only to see it break off from the door. However, it left a hole in the door that I thought would…

I don’t know what else I can do. I come to this office each and every day, hoping – praying – that someone else will be there, someone to tell me that the management meetings were great and the future of Robot Butt is so bright. But it’s just me – it’s always just me. Every room in the office is devoid of people, though many personal belongings have been left behind. Obviously, I know that the other writers are still writing and updating the site, but they haven’t been to the office in weeks. Were they told not to…

Hey everybody, it’s your favorite intrepid intern, Jeremy. Last time we talked, I told you about a huge meeting that Robot Butt management was leaving to attend. Well…they haven’t returned from it. Or at least I don’t think they have. Since they left ten days ago, no one has come back to the office. Every day I come here and it’s just me. However, the site keeps getting updated and it’s obvious that someone is working on it, I just don’t know where. I’ve tried writing some columns out of fear that we’ll be without content, but then it gets…

Hey everyone, Jeremy here. Big things are happening at Robot Butt, at both a company level and a personal level. For starters, the Robot Butt management team (or “the brain trust” as I like to call them) left today on what appears to be a pretty huge meeting. They’ve been teasing it for a few weeks now, though they haven’t given me many details other than it being a “big opportunity.” Sometimes, I just hear everybody laughing uproariously in the main conference room, for hours at a time, so I assume whatever is on the horizon has to be fantastic.…

Like I keep telling my parents, tech startups are a great place to be right now. It’s been so exciting to see how the Robot Butt team has been pulling together in the last few days to get the site ready for our big launch. It’s been inspiring to see the sacrifices everyone has made to move the company forward. I’ve been working off of milk crate chairs and using a coffee table as a desk, but it’s all part of the fun of just starting out. We even have a bean bag chair in one corner – it’s way more…

Hey everybody, Jeremy here! I’m thrilled to be the newest intern at Robot Butt, and our fearless editors have tasked me with running the company blog. I can’t wait to bring you a glimpse into the inner workings of a comedy site! I guess I should tell you guys a little bit about myself. I’m a junior at Northwestern University, majoring in multimedia journalism with a minor in global politics. I have a real thirst for the political process and the plight of other nations around the world; I wasn’t able to land the internship I wanted at MSNBC, but…