Nostalgic smartphone app Gudak limits your picture-taking capacity and forces you to wait three days to “develop” your photos. Here are some other apps we’d like to see, to take us back to a better time when technology wasn’t so useful: ChekWritr: This app not only slows down your online payments to the speed of snail mail, it converts your bills back to coffee-stained receipt paper. Experience the excitement of wondering if your utilities will be shut off while you relish the satisfaction of killing trees again! NeverNote: Searching and storing your documents in “The Cloud” is for latte-sipping ingrates. With NeverNote,…
Author: Alex Baia and Erica Lies
Alex Baia and Erica Lies
Alex Baia and Erica Lies are writers and comedians in Austin, Texas. His credits include McSweeney's and hers include the Splitsider Humor Section and The Huffington Post. Check out more of Alex's writing at hyoom.com. They are separate human people.
Interrogation Transcript North Pole Detention Camp Location: [REDACTED] Douglas Fleischer-Hughes, liberal activist, atheist, and professor of Sociology at Oberlin College lies blindfolded and strapped to a wooden gurney that’s trimmed with Christmas lights and a garland. The lower half of the gurney is elevated, so that Fleischer-Hughes’s head is angled 45 degrees downward. General Santa Claus stands over him, chewing a mini candy cane. SANTA: You are an agent in the so-called American “happy holidays” national campaign, correct? DOUGLAS: I told you, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Santa holds up a Starbucks “Happy Holidays” cup. SANTA: We found…