10 Ways That Cattle Are Like Cheating Husbands

Cattle

1. They can drink too much

2. They can knock you off your feet

3. They’re horny

4. You can claim them on your taxes

5. You can use their dismembered feet as dog toys

6. They max out the credit cards

7. If they get too ornery you can fatten them up and slaughter them for extra protein

8. You can castrate them if you don’t want them to get too big

9. You can make a purse from their skin

10. They don’t like it when you use a hot branding iron on their thigh

 

 




Nikki Haverstock

Author: Nikki Haverstock

Nikki Haverstock is a writer who lives on a cattle ranch high in the Rocky Mountains. She has studied comedy writing at Second City and has published 8 mysteries novels that are heavy on the humor. Before fleeing the city, she hosted a competitive archery reality show, traveled the world to study volcanoes, taught archery and computer science at a university and now works on her family’s ranch herding cattle. Nikki has more college degrees than she has sense and hopefully one day she will put one to work. She tried standup but the cattle weren’t impressed. Follow Nikki on Twitter @RancherNikki.

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