Excellent Rap Lyrics, Volume XX: Lil Wayne Might Have Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Lil Wayne Has IBS

In Lil Wayne’s song “Steady Mobbin”, the rapper goes into great detail over how much he rules the world. It’s the usual fare for the rap game: big guns, no regard for bitches, drugs, the constant pursuit for absurd sums of money, and something about wolves.

But in one of Lil Wayne’s verses, he does something interesting. He lets it slip that his house has ten bathrooms, not because it’s a pimp thing to do, but because it’s a medical necessity for him:

“Big house, long hallways

Got ten bathrooms, I could shit all day.”

I don’t know if anyone in Lil Wayne’s entourage has ever told him this, but it is most definitely not good if you’re shitting all day, and I can’t imagine anyone ever told Lil Wayne that spending hours at a time in the bathroom will help him acquire more guns, bitches or money.

I’ve heard about Lil Wayne’s health problems for years – there was that bizarre stretch where he was even the victim of a few death hoaxes – but having irritable bowel syndrome has largely been kept under wraps. With the constant pain, constipation and diarrhea that affects IBS sufferers, I can only imagine how bad it must be for Wayne if he needs ten bathrooms he can access at any point. How many concerts has Wayne suffered through, simultaneously feeling constipated and like he could shit until all of his insides fell out?

There is a silver lining for Lil Wayne in all of this. Now that he’s out being a spokesman for that phone you can pour champagne on, Wayne should really consider teaming up with Jamie Lee Curtis on that probiotic yogurt, too. If you’re going to be suffering from debilitating IBS, you might as well get paid while doing it.

 

 




Steve DiMatteo

Author: Steve DiMatteo

Steve is an editor for Robot Butt. You can follow him on Twitter @steve_dimatteo.

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