We all have our fetishes and fantasies, so who am I to judge a guy who gets off on venomous spiders biting his dong?
In Australia, a tradesmen named Jordan was recently bitten on the penis by a redback spider while using a portable toilet – again. The first incident happened about five months ago and, apparently aroused by the incident to the point of obsession, made sure it happened again this week. If you’re wondering why someone would do this, a redback spider’s bite causes severe pain, sweating and nausea, which just sounds like the makings of a good ol’ orgasm to me.
Jordan is trying to pass the whole thing off like it’s an accident, like he isn’t still planning to slip away into more porta potties to get off on spiders injecting their venom straight into his dick. “I’m the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment,” he told the BBC, but really, you’ll say anything to diffuse the situation when you get caught indulging in your wildest sexual fantasies in public.
For most of us, the thought of being bitten by a spider, especially on the penis, while sitting on a public toilet is a paralyzing fear. But this man found beauty in it and was able to harness the adrenaline rush of seeing “a few little legs come from around the rim” into what I can only imagine is a sexual high unlike anything else.
What’s dangerous is what Jordan will do to reach his next climax, once the sexual power of a spider bite wears off. Scorpions clamping down and tugging at his balls with their pincers? Putting mouse ears on his dick and letting the second most venomous snake in the world, the eastern brown snake, go to town? I can’t wait to find out!