TOKYO – Despite the Rio Olympic Games having only recently come to a close, Tokyo mosquitoes are already putting plans in motion to develop an unstoppable new disease for 2020.
“We’ve been really floored by the success that Zika was met with in Rio,” said International Mosquito Committee CEO Henry Skeeter. “Zika got more media coverage before the Games than the athletes. We really want to build off that success and strive to develop an even more Olympic-worthy disease over the next four years.”
“Our friends in Rio did a great job with marketing to a global audience, but fell short when it came to spreading the actual illness,” conceded Tokyo branch representative Asuka Bite.”I mean, no confirmed cases? You’ve got to be kidding me.”
International Mosquito Committee Chair Donna Itch has said that major plans for the disease are being kept under strict secrecy until its unveiling in 2020. “We’re going to release small details over the next four years to increase public hysteria. We’re actually modeling our marketing strategy after Apple’s release of the iPhone.”
The IMC has reportedly set up its Tokyo offices in stagnant water and that one place that no matter how much you reach, you can’t seem to scratch.