John Kasich Still Wandering Into Diners Hoping to Score Free Meal

John Kasich Eating Soup

PORTLAND, Ore. – Patrons of Davey’s Diner got a special treat Tuesday, as former Republican presidential candidate John Kasich visited the establishment, meandering around the counter, engaging with people and making vague speeches until a waitress finally gave him a free bowl of soup.

“I just feel so humbled to be with all of you today,” Kasich said, glancing behind himself to make sure the diner’s manager was paying attention. “Being out on the trail with you fine people has truly given me hope for our country…”

Kasich trailed off and then stopped talking as the manager went back into the kitchen, but as he returned, Kasich finished, “Annnnd I hear the coffee here just can’t be beat.”

While everyone in the restaurant politely listened to Kasich’s mangled, semi-coherent stump speech, and some took pictures, no one quite knew what to make of the appearance.

“Is he maybe still campaigning?” waitress Betty Gremtle asked. “I guess that’s possible. I never really knew if he was even in the race on any given day anyway. I did see him pull up in a Geo Metro, though.”

“He just stood up from his table and started talking,” said 65-year-old Dale Farngirth. “My wife and I were ready to leave, but Kasich shuffled over to block the door while still going on about jobs or security or something like that.”

Kasich concluded the meet-and-greet by stating, “It’s small businesses like this that are the backbone of our country. I hope the owners know that – oooh, you have freeze pops?”

At press time, Kasich was seen trying to get his Metro to start in the parking lot, and could be heard lamenting that he was going to miss the lunch specials at Don Ramon’s Mexican Restaurant in Beaverton.

 

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Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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