Sleazy Weatherman Promises Eight Inches


DANVILLE, Va. – In a shocking broadcast Friday morning, local TV weatherman Jerry Chapman told slack-jawed viewers that the city should expect to receive eight inches overnight and probably for the next few nights as well.

“This entire region is going to take a deep, hard pounding,” Chapman said. “And we all need to be prepared for it.”

Response to the comments has been swift, with many Danville residents expressing surprise and disbelief.

“He wishes,” fire chief John Mazzanti said through a statement. “We’ll see about that.” Other locals have called the remarks “worrisome” and “highly unlikely.”

“Eight inches?” Mayor Cynthia Parish said. “Jerry said that? Wow.”

Chapman’s broadcast also advised citizens to have plenty of blankets and bottled water nearby, and a first-aid kit “in case things get out of hand.” And while most Danville residents find Chapman’s words upsetting, 89-year-old Bethany Walker says she has no problem with his prediction.

“I remember when Jerry said things were going to get quite hot and wet for that stretch during the summer,” Walker said. “And oh my, did they ever.”



Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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