Powerball Jackpot Reaches 800 Million Double Cheeseburgers


With no winners again this past Wednesday night, the multi-state Powerball lottery jackpot is now estimated to be worth a record-breaking 800 million double cheeseburgers.

As expected, the increased jackpot makes for increased ticket sales.

“Once people realized they could afford hundreds of millions of dollar-menu orders with a win, our sales have skyrocketed,” said Jack Walton, who manages a BP near St. Louis. “People just can’t wrap their heads around that much money, but when you put it into hamburger terms, they seem to get it right away.”

“I normally don’t play the lottery,” one hopeful winner, Anissa Harris, explained. “But then I started doing the math: If I had ten Big Macs and five Cokes every day, I wouldn’t run out of money for 120,000 years. I’d be an idiot to pass up that chance.”

With “hamburger fever” spreading nationwide, some sources speculate that Burger King’s new menu special featuring ten chicken nuggets for $1.49 was strategically planned so that winners could opt for a more lucrative number of items with their winnings, as 800 million double cheeseburgers could be equal to nearly four billion nuggets (but only for a limited time).

While millions across the country have bought into the latest Powerball drawing, some still advise caution, with many critics pointing out that the IRS will take at least half of a winner’s hamburgers. But that certainly hasn’t stymied any optimism.

“Go to 2-for-1 Taco Tuesdays and you’re back on track!” Harris said.



Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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