Local Man Knows Better Than to Dream Big

Local Man Knows Better Than to Dream Big
ST. LOUIS – Citing historical examples, such as his dad’s desire to restore a ’67 Chevy, his sister’s novel that never seems to be finished, and his best friend’s untaken bar exam, among many others, local man Jake Ridges has learned something over his 37 years of life – don’t bother dreaming big.

“I know that this lifetime is all we have, so I’m sure as hell not going to waste it on dreams, hopes or aspirations,” Ridges said. “A meager lifestyle is all I need to scratch out for myself, and my fantasy football league keeps me busy on the weekends. This year we decided to up the buy-in to twenty bucks! I wanted to stay at ten, but the guys can get a little wacky.”

Friends of Ridges are happy he’s finally seeing the world with some clarity, and wish him the best with his new, more mediocre lifestyle.

He hasn’t always been known for having such a pragmatic view on things, though.

“Jake used to talk about how much he’d like to buy a sailboat and sail across the Atlantic Ocean,” said Bob Shackles, Ridges’s self-described best buddy. “He had these childish ideas of being a travel writer or something. When we were in college it was like, yeah, okay, Jake. Maybe lay off the doob a little, huh? What can I say? Everyone was doing a lot of crazy stuff back then.”

Since college, Ridges agrees that his life and imagination have settled down to a more manageable, realistic level. He now lives on his own in a small two-bedroom house in a suburb of St. Louis, and even recently invested in a new water heater, as the old one was getting a little leaky.

“The other day I went to the pound and got a dog,” Ridges said. “Figured I would go with a nice mutt, nothing too flashy like a purebred or anything. He still does all of his dumps in the living room, but the carpet’s dark so it isn’t a big deal.”



Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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