The Morning Compute: When the Going Gets Tough, Why Not Just Cut Your Penis Off?

The Morning Compute


  • Sometimes, life gets pretty tough. Everything is bearing down on you and all you want to do is scream, or maybe cut off your penis. That’s exactly what rapper Christ Bearer did last year, and now he’s finally telling his story. It’s a pretty solid cautionary tale that should prevent you from ever mixing PCP while watching Family Guy and American Dad. (VladTV)
  • When the Ku Klux Klan is on your side, that’s probably a signal to rethink your opinions. The KKK is dusting off its white hoods to rally at the South Carolina statehouse on July 18 to protest the calls for removing the Confederate flag from its grounds. Gov. Nikki Haley has said the KKK isn’t welcome, which is a tiny form of poetic justice, but I have a feeling it will be lost on the group. (USA Today)
  • Terminator: Genisys is currently sitting with some tough reviews on Rotten Tomatoes (as of this writing, it’s got a 26%), but that shouldn’t be surprising. God is on a righteous path of vengeance against PG-13 reboots. (Rotten Tomatoes)
  • Maybe humanity just isn’t meant to survive. According to a new study, when we see food listed as “fitness-conscious,” we just go ahead and eat more of it and work out even less. (CNBC)
  • In July, the first issue of the five-part Godzilla in Hell comic series hits shelves, and it’s exactly what it sounds like. Will he battle Satan? Will we find out that Godzilla has always been a sinful masturbator? Will we get the satisfaction of watching him obliterate Hitler? I can’t wait to find out. (A.V. Club)
  • And because you should never forget that Wednesday is never any better than Monday or Tuesday, here is the video to Nickelback’s worst song:



Steve DiMatteo

Author: Steve DiMatteo

Steve is an editor for Robot Butt. You can follow him on Twitter @steve_dimatteo.

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