The Power of Pizza is Going to Defeat ISIS

Mideast Islamic State

Though it does nothing to hide itself, ISIS is really not unlike the shadowy organizations you see in movies, as so many of its members and supporters are hiding in plain sight all over the world.

Worst of all, anybody could be a part of it. At least some of the success of the Islamic State is due to its ability to gather support from all types of people around the world.

The United States is certainly not exempt from this, evidenced recently by a Seattle journalism student’s mysterious Twitter account – @_UmmWaqqas – which advocated emigrating to the Islamic State and celebrated the group’s many atrocities. The person behind this Twitter profile is believed to be a twenty-something woman named Rawdah Abdisalaam, and she apparently has maintained a lot of close links to ISIS fighters and brides of the Islamic State.

Even though her Twitter account has finally been suspended, with 8,000 followers, Abdisalaam had some serious pull and, since her current whereabouts are a mystery, she might have even left to become a fancy jihadi bride herself.

But here’s the thing. A follower of the Islamic State must be entirely devoted to the cause; even other factions of Islam are an affront to their beliefs. ISIS isn’t even a fan of al-Qaeda. For the most part, the Islamic State spends its time working its way towards the apocalypse, so there’s no room for despicable Western traditions (though everyone seems able to make an exception for Twitter).

This is where ISIS should be very concerned with Abdisalaam’s profile. In addition to being a great recruiter and contact for members of the State, Abdisalaam seemed to embrace Western culture, and to an extent it seemed innocent enough. She likes football! But it sure as hell seems like she was finally seduced by the powers that pizza possesses.

Just look at this tweet from @_UmmWaqqas:

Pizza over anything

Pizza over ANYTHING? We infidels have known this to be true forever, but I thought those in the Islamic State were supposed to be operating on a different level? If you ask me, this is a pretty blatant slap to the group’s face.

For all intents and purposes, Abdisalaam, whose appearance is also a mystery, seemed to be an extremely devoted member to the cause. But from the looks of it, she was willing to give it all up for some ‘za.

This is who is recruiting and mentoring ISIS members? A woman who was willing to tell the world that pizza is better than anything she has ever experienced, even better than the words of the Prophet Muhammad? If this is where things are heading for the Islamic State, its fate has already been sealed.

Right now, the world is having trouble coming  up with a way to stop the spread of ISIS, but if an influential member, who is in the ears of many other people supposedly devoted to the cause, can be turned by pizza, the end of the Islamic State is sure to come from within its own depths.

And when it happens, it’s easily going to be one of the best pizza moments in history.



Steve DiMatteo

Author: Steve DiMatteo

Steve is an editor for Robot Butt. You can follow him on Twitter @steve_dimatteo.

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