Superman Spends Weekend at Fortress of Solitude Building IKEA Furniture

Superman VS IKEA

THE ARCTIC – Saying he was “excited to stay in and work on sprucing the place up,” Superman called off to spend the weekend putting together IKEA furniture at his Fortress of Solitude.

The 34-year-old alien, superbeing, and reporter, who once saved the world from the city-shrinking space monster Braniac while simultaneously covering the fight as a mild-mannered but Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter for The Daily Planet, said that the boxes of furniture had been “cluttering up the place for months” and it was “high time [he] did something about it.”

“I really needed some new furniture, and building it yourself like this kind of makes it feel more like your own,” said the nearly invincible man from another world, who once spent a year recovering in stasis after beating a fellow alien to death in the streets of Metropolis. “It’s so important to have some projects like this. I’ve been looking forward to cracking a beer or two, putting on some Star Trek in the background and diving into this thing.”

Sources confirmed that the many-time-savior of the human race and messianic survivor of death sat stunned for several seconds after opening his Brusali 8-drawer dresser set and finding two gallon-sized bags full of nuts, bolts, nails and unidentifiable but important looking little pieces of plastic.



Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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