New Mario Game Promises Return to Anti-Italian Roots


KYOTO, JAPAN – Saying it’s “ecstatic” about the concepts and gameplay of their upcoming title, Nintendo announced today that New Super Mario 3D Galaxy U will feature more ethnic stereotyping and race-based violence than ever before.

“We are incredibly excited about the direction Galaxy U is heading in,” developer Shigeru Miyamoto said. “When I created Mario Bros. 32 years ago I had no idea my love of caricaturing filthy Italians would be shared the world over, or for so long. With Galaxy U we mean to honor our rabid, prejudiced fan base and deliver what they want.”

Miyamoto said a number of his original Mario concepts came directly from his observations of Italians. “Their ostentatious clothes, their insistence to cram mushrooms into all of their dishes, their predatory behavior towards women, all of it, I pulled from what I knew,” Miyamoto said. “But it wasn’t until I just came right out and called the main enemies ‘Goombas’ that I knew I had a hit on my hands.”

Over the years, the stereotyping has lessened a bit, Miyamoto admitted, because “you don’t want to keep hitting the same notes.” But New Super Mario 3D Galaxy U is projected to be “very old school” according to industry insiders, with even its new additions hearkening back to the classic games.

“In Galaxy U we’ve brought in some fresh antagonists but they’re going to feel like old favorites,” said game designer Kenta Motokura. “We’ve developed bouncing and rolling enemies we call “Dagohs” and fierce little moving oil slicks we’ve named “Greasers.”

Other additions include giving wild hand gestures to Mario and Luigi and a tweaking of Mario’s famous line, which now reads: “It’s a-me, Mario! You got a-problem wit’ dat?!”

Will the retro approach work for New Super Mario 3D Galaxy U? Industry buzz has been positive and Miyamoto says he has nothing to worry about.

“If the success of Nintendo has taught me anything it’s that there are millions of people out there who hate Italians. I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon.”


Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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