Future Serial Killer Enjoys Geico Commercials

Watching TV

MINNEAPOLIS – Jonathan Holder, the man who will one day become known around the country for the brutal slayings of 15 people across three states, is simply known now as an avid fan of every single Geico commercial and the characters they produce.

Family and friends have noticed over the past few years that Holder, who will soon gain the nickname “The Devil’s Nephew” because of the gruesome ways in which he mangles his victims’ bodies, absolutely loves Geico ads whenever they come on during football games or his favorite shows.

“His face just lights up whenever a Geico commercial comes on,” Jonathan’s sister Stacy said. “And then he starts telling us about it like we weren’t in the room with him.”

Whether it’s the talking gecko, the stack of money with eyes, Maxwell the pig, the talking camels, the “Well, did you know that…” campaign or any other of the myriad of Geico commercials that can be found in every single commercial break on every channel that exists, Holder simply cannot get enough.

“That commercial where the camels are at the zoo and everyone is yelling at them about what day it is,” Jonathan said. “That, to me, is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Holder will continue to enjoy all Geico advertisements for as long as he remains a free man, which will come to an abrupt end in two years when authorities find the severed heads of numerous victims stored in his freezer.


Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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