Corporate Wizard Uses Shrinking Powers to Downsize Marketing

Kragthor at the Office

CINCINNATI – Using a long forgotten and deeply forbidden black magic, Warlock Kragthor the Bone Slayer and Soul Keeper summoned a shrinking spell from the burning depths of the lowest circle of hell to downsize the marketing department of Taste-E Dog Treats Limited.

Sworn and bound to serve the Chief Marketing Officer for 3 cycles of the great mother moon, Kragthor spent many late nights in council with the Chief and many daybreaks in deep study of the marketing department.

According to the mighty Chief, the marketing department had grown fat during the Years of Plenty, and the time for hiring free-lancers was nigh.

“Frankly, outsourcing our marketing efforts to agencies just makes sense in our current financial situation,” uttered the all-powerful Chief. “I hate to let these employees go, but in-house marketing just won’t work for us any longer.”

And so the Warlock came to Taste-E Dog Treats, and the people were afraid. But, as Kragthor prepared his dark magic he discovered a spell more powerful than his own. The servants of marketing were bound by sacred oaths, signed in the blackest of inks, that guaranteed them a severance package far beyond what the treasury of Taste-E Dog Treats could bear.

Summoning his fastest messengers, Kragthor called over the air for those well studied in the ancient volumes and texts of the laws of the land. Much time passed as the Warlock waited for a response, and the marketeers began to relax their guard.

But just as they were becoming sure of their safety, Kragthor heard from his messengers that a counter-curse had been found to strip the employees of their protective spells.

With this knowledge, Kragthor appeared on the final day of his service and, with great relish, banished the marketing employees from the realm.


Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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