It’s true. No matter how much you prayed – no matter how much you tried to bargain with God…it’s true. Derek Jeter has officially retired from the game of baseball. Now that the season is over, reality has finally begun to set in that the Captain won’t be coming back next April, and he won’t be winning any more World Series with the New York Yankees.
These can be some really dark and trying days for Yankees fans. After all, for the past 20 years, Jeter was a constant beacon of hope and perfection. Without him, what reason is there to keep living?
But wait! Thanks to our marketing saviors, Jeter never has to leave us. In fact, you can feel closer to him than ever before.
Just take these socks, for example. Whenever you’re lonely, just thinking about the Captain, simply grab them out of your dresser drawer (they’ll get their own special drawer, of course) and show Jeter the RE2PECT he deserves. Before you know it, you’ll be content, relaxed and maybe even ready for a nap. You know why? Jeter’s watching over you – now and forever.