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    Robot Butt

    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      22-Year-Old Describes Kind of Weird Thing They Saw as ‘Lynchian’

      April 10, 2025

      James Bond Gets Briefed on SignalGate

      April 2, 2025

      “Too Dark and Incredibly Quiet” Becomes Highest Grossing Unintelligible Film Ever

      March 14, 2025

      Rewrite Notes from the New White House Office of Cultural Redemption

      March 7, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      Country Songwriters Decide to Continue Rhyming ‘Whiskey’ with ‘Frisky’ Until at Least 2047

      April 1, 2025

      10 ‘Mature’ Rock Songs That Needed Updated Titles

      March 8, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      McGruff the Crime Dog Gets a MAGA Reboot

      April 13, 2025
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Drinking A Lite Beer

      April 27, 2025

      A Cartoon About Pizza

      April 24, 2025

      A Cartoon About A Greek Wrap

      March 23, 2025

      We’re Giving Our Iconic Paperclip Character his Own Comic Series Because Eventually Something We Do Has to Work, Right?

      February 8, 2025

      “TRUMPLESTILSKIN” AND OTHER UPDATED BROTHERS GRIMM STORIES:

      April 7, 2025

      Look Here Pardner, According To The Most Recent Class 9 Census Report, This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

      February 15, 2025

      What Happened to the Great American Mall

      January 27, 2025

      Ernest Hemingway Goes Sober Curious 

      August 8, 2024
    • History

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025

      Just Making Sure You Know That Michael Bay Directed the First “Got Milk” Ad

      January 5, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      FECES BIOLOGIST FINDS OUT YOU CAN PICK LITERALLY ANY JOB ON EARTH

      April 16, 2025

      PLACEBO EFFECT? We Gave a 10-Year-Old Non-Alcoholic Beer and He Wrecked His Car

      January 23, 2025

      To Chimp or Not to Chimp? A New Proposal to Save the Shakespeare Typewriter Experiment

      November 11, 2024

      New Study Shows Thirty Percent of Bat Boys in Major League Baseball Evolve Into Vampires

      September 29, 2024

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      How to Show You’re Smart Without Saying a Word: What We Can Learn From Mimes 

      February 24, 2025

      All the “Life Hacks” in the World Won’t Make that Term Any Less Annoying

      February 11, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      Current Betting Odds On What Name Will Be Chosen By The Next Pope

      May 1, 2025

      Easter, 4/20, and Wrestlemania Are All Today. Here Are Some Tips For Balancing The Three Holidays

      April 20, 2025
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025

      Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

      May 18, 2024

      All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

      April 4, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      Elon Musk Trolled During Live-Stream By Viewers Spamming “What Are You Eating Under There?”

      April 17, 2025

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025

      In Memoriam: Our Head Of Data Operations, Ryan

      April 22, 2025

      Congrats To Robot Butt’s April Team Member Of The Month, Ryan!

      April 21, 2025

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025
    Robot Butt
    Breaking News

    Eisenhower-era Republican Finally Wakes From Coma in Time for 2016 RNC

    By Robot Butt News Corp.August 2, 2016

    CLEVELAND – After being in a coma for the past 61 years, lifelong Republican and avid Dwight D. Eisenhower supporter Howard Wilson…

    Politics

    10 More Claims Bill O’Reilly Has Made About Slaves

    By Joseph ThomasAugust 1, 2016

    Last week, Bill O’Reilly made the news by attempting to clarify First Lady Michelle Obama’s comments about slaves building the White…

    Breaking News

    Hillary Clinton Realizes During Acceptance Speech She Left Staffer’s Testicles in Vice

    By Robot Butt News Corp.July 30, 2016

    PHILADELPHIA – Pausing for more than ten seconds in the middle of her acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention, presidential…

    Staff Posts

    Wow! This Philly Cheesesteak Has a LOT to Say About Immigrants But is Shy on Camera

    By The Robot Butt StaffJuly 29, 2016

    https://youtu.be/eNWcMjMtI3c

    Politics

    It Only Took Us Eight Years to Not Talk About Michelle Obama’s Appearance

    By Christian TucciJuly 28, 2016

    On Monday, July 25, 2016, Michelle Obama addressed the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, and by Tuesday many Americans were…

    Breaking News

    John Hinckley Demoralized at State of Republican Party

    By Robot Butt News Corp.July 27, 2016

    WASHINGTON – Following news of would-be Reagan assassin John Hinckley Jr.’s pending release from a psychiatric hospital, the Associated Press…

    Breaking News

    ‘Don’t Worry, We’ll Still Fuck This Up’ Says DNC’s New Slogan

    By Robot Butt News Corp.July 26, 2016

    PHILADELPHIA – Fresh on the heels of a hellish Republican National Convention in which delegates staged walk-outs, a speaker performed…

    Politics

    12 Simple Ways to Show That You, a Very White Woman, Support Black Lives Matter

    By Erica LiesJuly 25, 2016

    1. Click “love” instead of “like” on Facebook posts decrying racial injustice. 2. Donate $5 to Black Lives Matter. Now brag…

    Politics

    Bill Clinton Definitely Had a Sex Chair in the Oval Office

    By Steve DiMatteoJuly 23, 2016

    Inspired by the persistent and respectful civil discourse that has permeated this election at every turn, I’ve decided to read as…

    Politics

    Leaked Menu From a Secret Dinner Before the 2016 Republican National Convention

    By Melanie AngelJuly 21, 2016

    Dinner will be served in five stages. Tomato Basil Soup A rustic starter made with American-grown tomatoes and fresh basil.…

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