CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, Ohio – Trying to conceal his smile, local 12-year-old Daniel Donaldson admitted to reporters Monday that he feels “ready to…

EVANSTON, Ill. – Reports confirm that after exploring several options like ‘Fuck You Sally,’ ‘Fuck You Billy’ and ‘Fuck You James,’…

MADISON, Wis. – Recalling that she had left them by the microwave this time, 15-year-old Rebecca Halderman told reporters Friday that…

GAINESVILLE, Fla. – The American Society of Wetland Scientists released its annual industry report this week, revealing that hundreds of field…

“Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow!” I read on my phone, a miniature super computer capable of presenting data from…

Adolf Hitler made, oh, somewhere around 650,000 mistakes during World War II, but one of the most ridiculous ones is…

If football Sundays are sacred in America, the Super Bowl is the sporting world’s Easter. It’s one of the few…

DAYTON, Ohio – Conflicting stories and infighting continue to splinter the social structure of the entire seventh and eighth grade classes…

WASHINGTON – After seeing a photograph of migratory seabirds nesting on a rock, President Donald Trump vociferously claimed that “there were…

ASPEN, Colo. – In a triumph spanning arts, culture, and sport, Whoopi Goldberg completed the illustrious chase for XEGOT when she…