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    • Entertainment
      1. Movies & TV
      2. Music
      3. View All

      22-Year-Old Describes Kind of Weird Thing They Saw as ‘Lynchian’

      April 10, 2025

      James Bond Gets Briefed on SignalGate

      April 2, 2025

      “Too Dark and Incredibly Quiet” Becomes Highest Grossing Unintelligible Film Ever

      March 14, 2025

      Rewrite Notes from the New White House Office of Cultural Redemption

      March 7, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      Country Songwriters Decide to Continue Rhyming ‘Whiskey’ with ‘Frisky’ Until at Least 2047

      April 1, 2025

      10 ‘Mature’ Rock Songs That Needed Updated Titles

      March 8, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      McGruff the Crime Dog Gets a MAGA Reboot

      April 13, 2025
    • Fiction
      1. Comics
      2. View All

      A Cartoon About Drinking A Lite Beer

      April 27, 2025

      A Cartoon About Pizza

      April 24, 2025

      A Cartoon About A Greek Wrap

      March 23, 2025

      We’re Giving Our Iconic Paperclip Character his Own Comic Series Because Eventually Something We Do Has to Work, Right?

      February 8, 2025

      “TRUMPLESTILSKIN” AND OTHER UPDATED BROTHERS GRIMM STORIES:

      April 7, 2025

      Look Here Pardner, According To The Most Recent Class 9 Census Report, This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us

      February 15, 2025

      What Happened to the Great American Mall

      January 27, 2025

      Ernest Hemingway Goes Sober Curious 

      August 8, 2024
    • History

      College Students Suggest Causes for Fossilized Vomit

      April 30, 2025

      Oedipus’ Lament

      April 18, 2025

      10 Relevant Events in History that were Originated by a Joke

      February 20, 2025

      Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

      February 13, 2025

      Just Making Sure You Know That Michael Bay Directed the First “Got Milk” Ad

      January 5, 2025
    • Life
      1. Science
      2. Thoughts
      3. View All

      FECES BIOLOGIST FINDS OUT YOU CAN PICK LITERALLY ANY JOB ON EARTH

      April 16, 2025

      PLACEBO EFFECT? We Gave a 10-Year-Old Non-Alcoholic Beer and He Wrecked His Car

      January 23, 2025

      To Chimp or Not to Chimp? A New Proposal to Save the Shakespeare Typewriter Experiment

      November 11, 2024

      New Study Shows Thirty Percent of Bat Boys in Major League Baseball Evolve Into Vampires

      September 29, 2024

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      The Term ‘Gooning’ Has Ruined The Job Market For Henchmen

      April 8, 2025

      How to Show You’re Smart Without Saying a Word: What We Can Learn From Mimes 

      February 24, 2025

      All the “Life Hacks” in the World Won’t Make that Term Any Less Annoying

      February 11, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      Current Betting Odds On What Name Will Be Chosen By The Next Pope

      May 1, 2025

      Easter, 4/20, and Wrestlemania Are All Today. Here Are Some Tips For Balancing The Three Holidays

      April 20, 2025
    • Politics
    • Sports
      1. Basketball
      2. Football
      3. View All

      NBA Accidentally Drafts Grammy Winning Saxophonist Boney James

      July 28, 2024

      NBA Deems Draymond Green’s Latest Treatment a Rousing Success

      January 15, 2024

      These Ordinary People Were Victims of the Harlem Globetrotters’ Terrible Basketball Antics

      June 17, 2022

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025

      Congratulations, Class of 2024 – Now Go Out Into This World and Be Very Insecure About Your Penis

      May 18, 2024

      All But MLB Dingbats Will Switch to Torpedo Bats: NextGen Possibilities Beyond Yankee/MIT Innovation

      April 4, 2025

      5 Ins and Outs for Your Superbowl Party!

      February 9, 2025

      Trump & Pro-Wrestling’s Education Dept. Appointee Plan:

      February 7, 2025

      Inspired by the Superbowl Being on Tubi, We’ve Decided to Make Robot Butt the Official Home of Northwestern VS Minnesota from November 1, 1930

      February 5, 2025
    • Podcasts
    • Uncanny Valley
      1. Breaking News
      2. Company Blog
      3. Staff Posts
      4. View All

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      TECHNOLOGY WIN! Sabrina Carpenter Added To Fortnite By Being Shrunk Down And Dropped Inside Big Computer

      April 19, 2025

      Elon Musk Trolled During Live-Stream By Viewers Spamming “What Are You Eating Under There?”

      April 17, 2025

      Robot Butt’s New Year’s Resolutions

      January 3, 2023

      This Internship is Already Teaching Me So Much

      July 17, 2015

      Meet Robot Butt’s New Intern, Darren!

      June 17, 2015

      I Am Going to Die in the Robot Butt Office

      April 24, 2014

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025

      In Memoriam: Our Head Of Data Operations, Ryan

      April 22, 2025

      Congrats To Robot Butt’s April Team Member Of The Month, Ryan!

      April 21, 2025

      Undergraduate Philosophy Students Receive Six-Figure Grant to Develop New Logical Fallacies

      April 28, 2025

      No Post Today: Instead, Here’s A Link To McGruff The Crime Dog’s Official Album From 1982

      April 26, 2025

      REPORT: Adam McKay Probably Excited to Make Movie Where Famous Actress Explains Tariffs 

      April 25, 2025

      CORRECTION: Robot Butt’s New Team Member Of The Month Is Walt…

      April 23, 2025
    • About Us
      1. Books & Zines
      2. Contact
      3. Submission Guidelines
      4. View All

      The Robot Butt Company Handbook: A Humor Zine Designed to Be Read at Work

      June 10, 2024

      Jason’s Dozen: A Friday the 13th Humor Collection

      October 13, 2023

      Halloween Compendium of Terror: A Spooky Humor Anthology

      October 31, 2022

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025

      World’s Drummers Announce Plans to Look at Ground in Every Band Photo

      May 5, 2025

      Thank You for Flying Right: We Hope Our Robot Won’t Leak on You While Serving Pretzels

      May 5, 2025

      A Love Poem to Greenland written by J.D. Vance

      May 4, 2025

      Respectfully, I Refuse to Stop Referring to Bad Diarrhea as ‘Emptying the Clip’

      May 3, 2025
    Robot Butt
    Life

    What Happens When an Average Family Buys Holiday Gifts Pushed by Commercials

    By Emily SchleigerNovember 26, 2018

    It’s Christmas Eve. Bella and Jim have just arrived home from a half day at work. Bella is still removing…

    Articles

    In My Defense, I Never Thought a Black Friday Sale on Grand Pianos Would Get So Violent

    By Erik SternbergerNovember 23, 2018

    It wasn’t supposed to go down like this. I mean, the deals weren’t even all that spectacular. You see, Oprah…

    Life

    A Taxidermist Stuffed My Grandparents and Saved Thanksgiving

    By Zachary TruranNovember 22, 2018

    When my family told me I had to host Thanksgiving, I got nervous. I had never cooked a turkey before,…

    Breaking News

    TOM HANKS MASSACRES FAMILY Tradition of Carving Thanksgiving Turkey

    By Robot Butt News Corp.November 22, 2018

    LOS ANGELES – Horror was the main theme of this year’s Thanksgiving in the City of Angels, as beloved actor Tom…

    Entertainment

    Woke Bros Rewrite Their Problematic Faves

    By Laura McClainNovember 21, 2018

    Tyler Durden, Fight Club: Tyler founds a weekly salon where male-identifying individuals can discuss allyship and participate in team-building exercises…

    Politics

    Why Lie Anymore? I Just Want to Shoot Somebody

    By Tyler PetersonNovember 20, 2018

    It’s been a tough year for gun rights advocates such as myself. There have been over three hundred mass shootings.…

    Life

    Holidays Inspired by National Men Make Dinner Day

    By Laura LeeLunNovember 19, 2018

    1. National Men Stay Home With Sick Child Day 2. National Men Drive Soccer Carpool Day 3. National Men Take…

    Life

    Holiday Recipes: Grandma’s Authentic Italian Meatballs as Mansplained to Me by My New Boyfriend Todd

    By Sarah WhiteNovember 18, 2018

    Happy holidays, everyone! I’m here to share my grandmother’s recipe for authentic Italian spaghetti and meatballs, a recipe straight from…

    Life

    Napkin Folding for the Holidays (As Suggested by Your Aunt Who Still Uses a Flip Phone Unironically)

    By Sarah RistineNovember 17, 2018

    Nothing says festivity like a table made special with personal touches. The following are a few of my favorite unfussy…

    Life

    The Forbes 20 Under the Influence of 420

    By Jessica Taylor PriceNovember 16, 2018

    Josh Harlow, 28 Stock boy Invented a society where “we’re all just bros, man. Like everyone just helps each other.”…

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