BETHLEHEM — Still reeling from the holiday gift exchange, the third wise man has expressed deep frustration after realizing he was the only one who respected the previously agreed-upon $25 gift limit for the newborn Messiah, while the other two had absolutely blown the budget with gold and frankincense. “Gold? In this economy?!?” said Balthazar who brought myrrh. According to sources traveling with the caravan, the three wise men agreed weeks earlier in a lengthy group chat to cap gifts at $25. “Myrrh is a perfectly respectable choice given the parameters,” Balthazar added. “It’s artisanal. It’s fragrant. It’s meaningful.” Balthazar…
Author: Tobey Jackson
Tobey Jackson
Armed with a keyboard and photoshop, Tobias is mildly annoyed by the slow collapse of democracy.
As we look to wrap up 2025, those of us here are Robot Butt are thankful for the bounty of words and images that AI has created for us. To deliver the hard-hitting news and exposés you expect out of Robot Butt you need the best writers and illustrators. So when we couldn’t get those, we turned to AI—and that has changed everything. In past years, articles like this one would have required teams with dozens of writers, artists, and editors. Now those highly-paid positions can be replaced with a click of a button, allowing me to continue with my…
The U.S. Treasure has confirmed it will reject ‘woke’ coin designs in favor of a coin featuring Donald Trump’s face. Still not happy, President Trump demanded to be on a currency reflecting his ‘true value’ instead of a low-value dollar. Following months of rigorous valuation modeling, an advisory committee made up of numismatists, historians and financial experts have unveiled the new currency that more accurately reflects Trump’s true value and contributions to society.
The creators of popular word game Mad Libs have announced the launch of Mad Libs: Epstein Edition. Each page will spell out the adventures and misadventures of Jeffrey Epstein and his famous friends. Players will fill in redacted spots with nouns, verbs, adjectives, and numbers under 18. Inside every booklet, lucky players may also find one of 10,000 authentic classified Epstein files. “You’ll love guessing what high-profile billionaire is hidden beneath these redactions!” said [name], Director of Product Development at [animal] Publishing Group. White House officials quickly denounced the project, dismissing the publishers as “Angry Libs”. During the briefing, President…
In a move that is now being called “awkward,” the President Trump officially re-striped and re-branded its West Wing parking lot to include 4 Tesla-only parking spots — replacing all DEI handicap spaces. This decision was made at the end of June, with the president at the time reported to be ecstatic and convinced he would never regret it. It’s expected that these spots will be torn up and repaved into normal spots by the en of the month. The White House dismissed any similarities to controversial symbols, adding “Until the spots are changed back, we still welcome disabled drivers,…