Author: Steve

If you look in the toilet and are mortified at what is staring back at you, you’ve come to the right place. Many people are driven to search “Why is my poop black?” when their turds become darker than the night, and it’s completely understandable. No one likes looking into the void. You’ll find plenty of medical sites offering explanations for this unsettling occurrence, such as ingesting medications that contain bismuth or taking iron supplements. Hell, they’ll try to tell you that black stool is simply the cause of eating black food. That’s what you get for eating black licorice,…

Ever since Avengers: Endgame tore into theaters with a $357 million opening, the movie’s quest to dethrone Avatar as the top-grossing film of all time is all anybody can talk about. But the entire movie industry doesn’t just revolve around the Avengers, you know. We should be celebrating all achievements in film, such as the fact that Garfield: The Movie is the 771st largest movie in history, grossing just over $200 million worldwide in its 2004 run. Two-hundred million dollars is nothing to sneeze at! It made nearly $22 million in its opening weekend alone, recouping almost HALF of the…

At the end of Avengers: Infinity War, Thanos wiped out half the universe with a simple snap of his fingers. We watched as some of our favorite superheroes were turned to dust: Spider-Man, Black Panther, Doctor Strange, Phone Ranger (probably)… the list goes on and on. But even as we saw all these heroes die off, along with trillions of other souls in the universe, it’s hard not to notice that the original Avengers of the Marvel Cinematic Universe – Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye, the Hulk – were all left standing. A little curious, don’t you…

We have our first basebrawl of the 2019 season, folks! Well, like many baseball fights these days, it was mostly a lot of guys standing in a giant huddle, pushing and shoving, but Yasiel Puig’s beef with the Pittsburgh Pirates seemed to have a little more edge to it, making this particular pushing and shoving match just a little bit better. On Sunday, April 7, Pirates starter Chris Archer threw behind Cincinnati Reds hitter Derek Dietrich as punishment for gloriously pimping a majestic home run he hit off Archer in the second inning. You know it’s a HR when the…

Someday, hundreds, maybe even thousands, of years from now, scientists will look back on these posts to gain a glimpse into the minds of humans that came long before them. When we provide these lists of unedited search terms that bring people to Robot Butt, we are providing a service, a time capsule to be preserved. See for yourself why we want future generations to remember us and our insightful, inquisitive minds: big butt granny first nude party is ham meat is it really possible to sell your soul how to set a house on fire i deserve to go…

Every year during Lent, Catholics and other devout Christians aren’t allowed to eat meat on Fridays (or Ash Wednesday), as it is off-limits to signify Jesus Christ sacrificing his life for all of us. Or maybe it was the Easter Bunny? I can’t remember. Anyway, that’s why you can’t walk five feet without seeing a sign for a fish fry in the six weeks before Easter. But when you think about it, this isn’t really a personal sacrifice worthy of honoring Jesus Christ. Not at all. First, even if you absolutely hated fish, you’d only have to eat it one…

If you’re a sports fan, the biggest news today is that Bryce Harper just signed a 13-year, $330 million contract with the Philadelphia Phillies. That’s an absolutely unfathomable amount of money to us regular nobodies, but Harper has certainly been preparing for this. Best of all – or worst of all, depending on who you ask – there are no opt-outs in this deal. Harper is getting paaaaaaid. I assume he’ll put it all in a nice little CD that earns him 2% interest a year. And once you factor in Harper’s career earnings to this point, which is, according…

Like most other startups, the Alliance of American Football is on unsure footing financially. So much so that the new football league missed payroll after the first week of games and needed a $250 million cash infusion from billionaire and Carolina Hurricanes owner Tom Dundon, who now essentially owns the entire league. None of this is particularly unique for a new sports league, but what is interesting about this dodged fiasco is that when the AAF missed payroll, the league blamed it on a glitch with switching to a new administrator. That is a classic type of excuse for when…

Whenever you start a new project, you’re never quite sure where it will go or how long it will last, no matter what your initial intentions might be. And now that Robot Butt has officially turned five years old, and I’ve done some deep reflecting with my spiritual guru, it saddens and dismays me to announce: We’re gonna be here in another five years. That’s right, we aren’t showing any signs of slowing down, and we’ve got plenty of new things in the works. Though to even be at this point, it would be insane of me not to thank…

We’ve entered a brand-new year, but our audience’s thirst for knowledge is as insatiable as ever! Here is just a sampling of the insightful searches that brought people to Robot Butt last month: does barron trump have any pets? goat bites off penis men with large nipple clubs did tRUMP WANT ‘art of the deal’ TO TAKE OATH ON??? penis windchime was hitler a robot willy wonka death scene presidential food taster nipples of the gods thomas jefferson hairstyle virgin sacrifice volcano ross and monica incest sex doodles set the house on fire masturbating otter images of breadsticks south bend…