May contain words larger than ‘stonks’ Let’s not pretend you’re here to read. You haven’t focused on anything longer than a tweet since the last time you Googled “is caffeine a personality?” Your compromised attention span is the result of pre-workout supplements, amateur crypto podcasts, and endless porno with shorter runtimes than your holdings. You’re not investing. You’re refreshing a dopamine slot machine with hyper-capitalist delusions. So here it is. Stock Market Speedrunning! The fastest, dumbest way to cosplay as a financial prodigy while burning indispensable cash faster than you can say “liquidity event.” It has no learning curve, no…
Author: Simon Read
Simon Read
Simon Read is an Associate Lecturer in Creative Writing and holds a PhD on the subject. He is also the co-writer and host of Pit of Chimps, a bizarre audio-based comedy - part podcast/past variety show set in an alternate dimension - which can be found on most streaming platforms. His literary work can be found in many places, including Filling Station, Kinpaurak, and Ink Sweat & Tears.